Just a Bunch of Crap I Think About

 Today was a really hard day. I wanted to tell a great story with old photos tonight, but I'm a bit empty. I was up last night until almost 5am this morning then slept for 4 hours. Seems I overdid the walking with crutches yesterday and pulled a muscle in my chest wall. I'm not sad, just really pissed off tonight. In the last three months plus 3 days, I had to have 2 molars pulled, broke my ankle and detached my eye goo. Now the pulled muscle. I'm just waiting for the vet to show up to put me down peacefully. Remember, I want a fiesta. 

Interesting little thing that happened today as well. I had two people reach out for help and I thought to myself, how am I suppose to help anyone right now? But something told me to step back and look at things from another angle, so I did. And for those few moments of refocusing my one good eye, I was able to see the answers for both requests and get them done. This isn't because I'm so brilliant. I'm actually quite stubborn and thick-headed. It was completely dependent on my willingness to look in a different direction, even if only for a moment at a time. I bet using that super power would change quite a lot in todays world. I'm going to try it more often. 

When I did catch some sleep this morning, I had a very vivid dream. I was at the home of someone I loved very much and considered family. Its one of the relationships that has been lost over the last few years. We were sitting in their kitchen while tea was being prepared, just chatting. It was very calm and peaceful but felt all wrong. At one point, I reached across the island, grabbed their hands and looked straight into those eyes I loved while asking, " Is there any way to fix this?" The sad look on their face told me the answer. I woke up with the realization that, sometimes things change no matter how hard we try to hang on, so just let go. I let go today. I cant say it wasn't sad but I can say I feel free. I'm going to focus on investing in those relationships that invest in me and let the others go. I have a feeling that effort is going to bring some scary-positive changes. I'm ready. I think. 

One side note on letting people go...there was room on the door, Rose. I'm just saying.

And finally...

There are 300+ photos in this little box, all sorted and ready to go into shipping mailers tomorrow morning. Once I get them headed out the door with Bob, I'll post a quick note on The FaceBook letting you know if your name is on one of them. I've sent out 20 mailers so far and have been so excited to hear the reactions, once received. So far, so good. But fair warning, if you reach the point where you're sick of receiving pieces of my mom's treasures, I will unfriend you because I need to get these damn things out of my house! Don't make me push you off the door.