Burn Baby Burn

I just finished going through another 300 plus photos in a box of my mother's. I've burned all the ones of food, flowers, and people I can't stand. It was a bit cathartic, like a voodoo doll, I imagine but it took less time than sewing a demon doll. I've never been very good at sewing and I really try to avoid anything demonic especially in my house, so there's that. Anyway, burning them was surprisingly freeing.

Why burn them, you might wonder. Why not just throw them in the trash. Easy. I'm a weirdo and couldn't bear the thought of some creep digging through my trash at the dump one day and finding pictures that had belonged to my parents. I mean, what if they did something creepy with them like start a fake FaceBook account with pictures of my parent's food, flowers, and people I can't stand? I'd feel responsible. Yeah, I couldn't let that happen, so they went into the burning fireplace tonight.

Anyway, back to the cathartic part. I tend to hold on to things much longer than I should. Maybe even much longer than normal people do. Whatever. It's what I do. Over the last year, I've been focused on letting go. Letting go of pictures and furniture, dishes and clothes, and people. I'm not a hoarder like you see on tv. I mean, yeah, I have 5 cats, 2 dogs, 4 pigs, and a plethora of chickens, but they don't all live in my house. Anymore. Most of the time. Whatever. My hoarding is connected to memories. I have a hard time letting go of dead people's things because I don't want to forget. I'm terrified I will forget and then they won't exist anymore. So I hang on tight to their things. Until this last year.

This last year I have donated, thrown out, or gifted a massive amount of dead people's things. I've mailed 10 packages of photos already and have another 7 going out tomorrow. The crazy thing is, I thought it would kill me but it hasn't. It's freeing me. Who knew other than the people who have been hounding me to do this for years but what do they know anyway? And the burning the pictures of people I can't stand? OMG! It's like letting go of this huge boulder. I can't wait to go through more photos because there are literally thousands more and I'm sure there are photos of more people I can't stand hidden among those treasures. The anticipation is exhilarating. Don't judge me. Or do. I don't really care anymore and that is awesome!

As for letting people go, it's getting easier the older I get. I'm learning to allow people to earn my trust instead of handing it out like Costco cheese samples. My circle is getting smaller and tighter and that is a very good thing for me. So......