I think I may have expected too much too soon. My dad has only been gone one month. I want to feel better and forget all the sadness but it just won’t go away. When I am holding my new grandson or playing with my youngest granddaughter, it seems to be gone. When I was with my older grandson and granddaughter in Alabama, it didn’t come around all day either. It’s the dang nights that are so hard. If I could just sleep. I don’t think I have been able to go to bed before 1:00 am once since CFC died. I think it’s the dreams that are driving me to stay awake. I am so tired of dreaming about him dying. So there, late at night, lies the funk, ready to grab me and hang on night after night. I am starting to get irritated.
Speaking of irritated, don’t you just love Thanksgiving and the family drama that shows up uninvited every year? Yeah, me too. We had an awesome Thanksgiving in Florida with our middle son and his family. Amy, our daughter-in-law, prepared an absolutely beautiful table filled with delicious offerings. Then, just when I thought I had experienced the near perfect drama-free holiday, I got the bright idea to call one of my sisters and wish her a Happy Turkey Day. So, how did that work out for me, you ask? Don’t ask! Thank you, Lord for holidays that only come once a year. Amen!
I truly am thankful for so many things including your comments. Thanks to all of you great folks for your suggestions regarding my measly $35 offering. I think I have a winning idea. I will let you know how it works out next week when I return to Oklahoma.
Now, about this week and #2 on The List. I actually already did this one years ago. I plan on doing it again in some form if possible when I go home next week. Until I get home, I think I'll tell you about the first time. It’s a long story that will need editing since I LOVE to talk/type so check back on Sunday for the condensed version. Until then …
12 comments:
Hang on Liz, there are two sides to every story, and sometimes they are both right. We all know your mom isn't perfect and all knowing, but she is a loving and caring and at times self-centered, just like the next person.
I know you feel your relationship is lost. Maybe it is on hold for now, but I know your mom loves you and wants what is best for you, and from what little bit I know she owns her part of the brokenness you guys have.
I don't feel sorry for Marla about her family or friends, she is a very blessed woman, who tries very hard to do the right thing, even if it doesn't always bring her what she hoped for, at least she tried.
Liz you are your moms daughter! You are just as sassy as she is. Hang in there, Love will prevail!
Hey Di ~ Um, yeah, what you said. lol
I have one thing to say: respect begets respect....chew on that for awhile...
they say god didn't have time to punish us for what we did, so he invented relatives. hang in there. we still have christmas to endure and it's coming up fast!
Thanksgiving can be a bitch. Especially the first few without a significan loved one. I miss my dad, too....12 years later.
In general, I usually tune out all the bull shit and hear only what I want to let filter through. Mrs. MM will surely catch all the details I tend to ignore and give me an upload later. I just end up shaking my head and being thankful it won't repeat unless we get together for Christmas.
Amy ~ Excellent point. I will try to remember that at all times.
Sarah ~ Love it! God knows I deserve punishing. :-)
Monkey ~ I don't think you ever really stop missing them.
I'm sorry you are feeling low. The lack of sleep will get to anyone. Also, it really has not been a very long grieving period for you.
I've been visting funky town a lot lately too and I don't know why. May we both find our way out.
How funky is your chicken...do you remember that? Man where is the funk from? I detest funkiness- and I think I should be a hermit to save the innocent bystanders from the "funky" girl and then I think let them all suffer...LOL.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this I can't imagine and honestly try to not even think about the loss of my parents it hurts to even try to go there...
Marla if I find that instruction manual for life- I will loan it to you after I make copies and sell them on Ebay! Please return the favor if you find it first?!
Retreat I say retreat- I am going to go...I keep saying that so it will happen, right? Santa Fe, somewhere, Texas or somewhere, Colorado! Love you Marla!
Mami ~ Amen to finding our way out ... soon!
Mindy ~ You always make me laugh. Yes, I say retreat!!
I'm so sorry you feel so sad when the distractions are gone. It will get better, but that doesn't change the crappy part right now. Maybe try writing a letter or two (that don't get mailed.) Sometimes, that helps.
Mrs4444 ~ Great idea. I will give it a try. Thanks for being so caring all the time. I appreciate it!
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