Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Disclaimers and Full Disclosure

Some readers have reported changes in behavior, agitation, and depression when attempting to digest this blog. Butts and Ashes may increase the chance of serious skin reactions or stomach and intestine problems, such as rectal bleeding and ulcers.







Sleepwalking, overeating and desiring to drive over a cliff after reading this blog have been reported. If you experience any of these behaviors contact your local mental health provider immediately.






Reading Butts and Ashes may cause you to fall asleep without any warning, even while doing normal daily activities, such as tending chickens. Hallucinations may occur and sometimes you may feel dizzy, sweaty or nauseated upon reading this blog. Butts and Ashes has also been linked to amnesia and gambling addiction.






Readers are urged to avoid pregnancy before, during, and one month after reading Butts and Ashes.





Reading this blog can decrease the activity of your immune system to fight infections. People reading Butts and Ashes may have an increased chance of getting serious infections. Some infections in people reading Butts and Ashes have become serious and in rare cases these have led to hospitalization of the reader and their pets.









Butts and Ashes likely increases the risk of getting Progressive Courtney Love Syndrome, a rare brain disease caused by a virus which usually results in severe bad hair. Other serious side effects experienced by readers included new or worsening psoriasis, new or worsening arthritis, and nervous system disorders.






You have been warned.

19 comments:

Brian Miller said...

woohoo...i am living life ont he wild side by leaving a comment...grins

Glen said...

I dream of having bad hair days

Parsley said...

NOW ya tell me!

Bruce Coltin said...

I take 1000 mg of Vitamin C, with each reading. I think it helps.

Blasé said...

well now, I never thought of it that way before!

Btw, isn't that lil' man the 'Taxi' guy??

Silver Strands said...

thanks for the warning Marla .. but it may be too late for me. You see, I'm already addicted.
oxox
Denalee

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Too late, already here! Just saw my own hair!! EEK

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

too late for me, too. here i am...

Not So Simply Single said...

Marla, is that really you? I think you are "church lady" and then you surprise me with something like this...

Laughing my ass off over here! (and thats a good thing, could use a little LESS ass)

Lisa

Kfred said...

I have it unofficially that Barry Bonds, Lance Armstrong, and Brett Favre have been linked to reading this blog for use as a "performance enhancing" tool as well.

I suggest you retain legal counsel as soon as possible.

The Duck Herder said...

yup, you certainly know how to bring out the best in people.

Deborah said...

Can I at least attempt conception while reading your blog?

Heh!

Sarah said...

I hope your sister doesn't kill you after this. :)

Mrs. Tuna said...

I guess I should give up smoking and drinking too.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I think this product has been mislabeled. I tend to reenergize and experience the mania that uppers create, when I indulge.
Hugs, my friend.
xoRobyn

Sandra said...

Marla this was hilarious and fantastic, and the entire time I kept thinking, "Why can't Butts and Ashes have as one of its side effects diarrhea!" I'm always constipated...sorry, I know I just shared too much...I knew it the second the words appeared..yet there they shall stay!

TechnoBabe said...

I have the opposite reaction. I get better and feel better when I read your blog. In fact, I would go so far to say that I have been healed a couple times just after reading your blog.

gayle said...

Well thank you! I have finally figured out what is wrong with me!

Air Purifiers said...

Hahaha, this is so great!! Makes love your blog even more- and that picture from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Thelma and Louise are awesome. Best part? You wrote this on my birthday. :)