Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Keeping Abreast Of Things

As I stepped out of the shower this evening, something caught my attention. Well, actually, two somethings. I don’t generally make a habit of looking at myself naked. It’s just too depressing … and scary … and horrific … and mentally challenging … and, well, I could go on and on. But tonight, there they were and I couldn’t avoid them. When, in the name of all that is holy, did my girls morph into my mother’s girls? Seriously, there is just something not right about this situation.




My mom was hot. I mean it. When the old bat was my age, she was still a looker. I remember how I was always really enthralled with her cleavage. Bernice Casas might have seemed like a prude to some people but that woman knew how to dress. She was gorgeous and when she and my dad went out on the town, she was amazing.




The thing about my mom and her perky girls was this: She never breastfed. She thought it was gross. Monkeys breastfed. Cows and horses did it. She, being prim, proper and perky, would never stoop….or droop….to such a thing. She was well into her later years before her girls packed up and moved south.




Being the idiot rebel of the family, I chose a different lifestyle from that of my mother and sisters. I was all about reproduction and lactation and not shaving my legs. Yep, me and the monkeys. We were quite the mothering models. Lamaze and La Leche would have been my children’s middle names if their father hadn’t had better sense than I do. Ok, prepare yourselves. I am about to confess something that is sure to send some of you ….maybe even most of you …screaming as you reach for your DO NOT FOLLOW THIS FREAK ANYMORE button. I not only breastfed my babies….yep, here it comes…I breastfed other peoples babies. Is that my daughter-in-law Amy I hear wailing and gnashing her teeth?




Hey! It was the ‘70s. And there were sick mothers with sick babies who needed a little help. I’m all about helping people. Never mind.

30 comments:

Parsley said...

Well, I can't say I'd do that myself but I had a friend that pumped for others.

This got me to thinking...didn't they find nurses for the babies back in Bible times?

Ms. Anthropy said...

I nursed my niece. She and my youngest were 7 weeks apart. Worked out pretty darn good. I don't have enough left, in that department, to sag too far, but other things have certainly gone south. My butt touches the back of my legs, my neck should belong to someone about 80...

... and don't even get me started on AGE SPOTS! PFFFT!

Brian Miller said...

you know, it probably made a difference in someone's life. i admire that...

Blasé said...

O.....M......GOD!

TechnoBabe said...

So funny visual looking in the mirror at the girls! Too too funny. I stopped trying to find mine long ago but of course I am so much older than you are. I think it would be so much worse to have a hot mother. I didn't and I didn't always live with her anyway. Keep up the great writing.

honeypiehorse said...

Well, at least your leading ladies sag in a good cause.

Deborah said...

I breastfed my babies and do not think it hurt my "leading ladies" (honeypie that is hilarious! Love it!) in the least.

And I have headlining leading ladies I might add. Big uns my hubs says.

We've all heart the phrase wet nurse right?

I find what you did selfless. Don't think I could have done it, but I admire that you did.

Amy said...

I'm going to have John read this so that he knows I'm not delusional when I re-tell this horrid hippie tale :) JK!!!

I too have had an "I feel very old" week...miss you!!!

Oklahoma Granny said...

You really do have a way with words. I say to each his own and you certainly helped others in the process.

Mommy Lisa said...

You know - my GRANDMA did that too. There was a baby and a lady who were VERY ill when my grandmother was in the hospital having one of her children, I forget which and she is gone now...

Her doctor asked if she might help.

Anyway, she thought that was the most WONDERFUL thing in the world she could do and the baby got healthy FAST.

She was proud of me becuase I breastfed my daughter - 22 months.

Enchanted Oak said...

Marla, you're just wonderful to perk up my Thursday morning. May perky be your word of the day.

Monkey Man said...

okay then. For me tmi.

Michelle said...

What?! Don't stop there! Did you just pump for them or were you actually a wet nurse? (Which was perfectly acceptable back in the day, by the way.) I never breastfed but I really wish now that I had...my poor children were deprived of all that natural immunity, etc. And "the girls" are still headed south even though they were spared...so there you go.

Coby said...

I am dying with laughter! I'm only 33 - my girls have been in the southern hemisphere now since around 22. Nursing can't really do much more too them. I went jogging one too many times without a sports bra. I lie down, they migrate to my armpits. They can hold a pack of pencils beneath them.

I'm not big on plastic surgery, but if we ever become millionaires, I'm getting a lift.

I wish I had known you nursed other people's babies - I never made enough milk for my kids to get full off of me. I would have called you when I had my twins! ;-) Hey, if you helped some woman's baby, go for it!

Nicole said...

Marla, you know what I'll say... I've got a fantastic plastic surgeon here in San Diego for you. You know he's done wonders with mine. :)

Lily Robinson said...

I've discovered a beauty tip that keeps them perky... Smear then up with nail glue and roll them tightly. Hold for about 5 seconds and you're good to go. (just kiddin' folks)

Nurse maids used to be very common.

I admire my DIL's breast-feeding commitment. Her employer is very supportive (no pun intended) and provides her a locked room for pumping. She brings me fresh breast milk every morning for Brady. She plans to do this for his entire first year.

Unknown Mami said...

I'm going to be totally honest here and say that I am a little prude in that area, but it's dumb to be because wet nurses are not a rare thing.

Tgoette said...

So great that you shared your goodies like that. You should be very proud of your girls. They did a wonderful thing. This should be a lesson to other ladies...whip them out and see if anyone is thirsty!

thelumberjackswife said...

Wow! Well, I didn't really even like nursing my own babies . . . so probably wouldn't nurse anyone else!

I hated nursing. I did it. But I didn't like it. :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Well good for you, coming out of the wet nurse closet like that, I say. :)

And how weird is it that my word verification today is "brable". Get it? BRA...ble?

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

O-M-G! You are too funny! I am so glad that Rae gave you a shout-out because I now have to follow your blog.

I was unable to breastfeed - I have no openings in my milk ducts. At least, that is what I was told. I wish I had found someone who would have fed my kids. They all had so many allergies that breast milk would have been beneficial.

Hope said...

32 Long - that's the size that we all get to be one day.

I breastfed a friend's baby when nothing else would make him happy one night when I was babysitting. Our sons were 6 weeks apart in age. It worked.

I miss my perky breasts, I did not appreciate them while I had them, either. Mine are scarred from lumpectomies and none to pretty to look at but they're mine and I'll keep them. I just wish they wouldn't look down at my toes so much.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hi! I came over from Raes! You are lucky to be able to breast feed..I have always had breasts the size of Texas...but they were useless for breast feeding..my first born weighed the same when she was three weeks old as when she was born. Go figure why I had ample equipment that is useless. So you did good..you made a difference! :)

Auntie Cake said...

Getting old kind of sucks sometimes, doesn't it?
Kate
PS- but better than the alternative!

Ji said...

beautiful!

http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.comwelcome!

MOMSICLE VIBE said...

AWESOME. Please tell a curious freak like me - was it different than feeding your own? Did they have different latches? I have seriously wondered what that would be like. For some reason I am convinced that all other baby's have sandpaper kitten tongues - do they, DO THEY??

gayle said...

I think that is wonderful that you could do that for others!! Some people think it is easy but it's not!!

Love the comments from the guys!!

VKT said...

I think it was a very admirable thing to do. Milk is milk and if it is helping to sustain a little life, then so be it. I love the way you march to your own drummer!

Okie Book Woman said...

I can certainly relate to your comments about your aging girls! My attitudes about child rearing are a lot like yours. I gave birth and raised babies in the seventies, and I was a childbirth educator for years. I nursed all of my children much longer than anyone else thought I should! (They have always been very healthy kids, I might add.) I never nursed anyone else's babies, but I'm not at all bothered by the idea. We have to realize that to us Americans in 2010, it's UNCULTURAL to do that, but it's not UNNATURAL. I think you did a wonderful thing.

Marla said...

Two months later and I am finally answering questions. Do I win procrastinator of the year yet?

Michelle ~ I actually nursed.

Coby ~ By the time those beautiful twins of yours came along, my well had long run dry, sister.

Momsicle ~ It wasn't different as far as the actual nursing. The mushy, gushy baby feelings I had for mine may have been a little different. But then, how can you not love ANY baby??

You did make me laugh at the sandpaper kitten tongue comment. Too funny!