My mom was hot. I mean it. When the old bat was my age, she was still a looker. I remember how I was always really enthralled with her cleavage. Bernice Casas might have seemed like a prude to some people but that woman knew how to dress. She was gorgeous and when she and my dad went out on the town, she was amazing.
The thing about my mom and her perky girls was this: She never breastfed. She thought it was gross. Monkeys breastfed. Cows and horses did it. She, being prim, proper and perky, would never stoop….or droop….to such a thing. She was well into her later years before her girls packed up and moved south.
Being the idiot rebel of the family, I chose a different lifestyle from that of my mother and sisters. I was all about reproduction and lactation and not shaving my legs. Yep, me and the monkeys. We were quite the mothering models. Lamaze and La Leche would have been my children’s middle names if their father hadn’t had better sense than I do. Ok, prepare yourselves. I am about to confess something that is sure to send some of you ….maybe even most of you …screaming as you reach for your DO NOT FOLLOW THIS FREAK ANYMORE button. I not only breastfed my babies….yep, here it comes…I breastfed other peoples babies. Is that my daughter-in-law Amy I hear wailing and gnashing her teeth?
Hey! It was the ‘70s. And there were sick mothers with sick babies who needed a little help. I’m all about helping people. Never mind.