Sundays In My City

This was written 1/29/2010 while sitting at the kitchen table fuming over having no internet for days and days. Finally, internet connection has been restored so here you have it .....Sundays In My City.

We are having another pretty good ice and snow storm right now. We haven’t lost power this time but we have lost internet service. I have so much to do today with both my jobs being online plus my blog. My frustration at losing the internet can get quite high at times like these.

Because of the storm, our granddaughters, Ahni age six and Corina age 2, have spent the last two days here with us, Nona and Papa, since the schools and daycare are closed. I love having them here but I realized something today. I am missing out on my time with them because I am always so busy.

This thought made me reflect on my life in general. I have always been a very busy person. My friends and family have commented on this fact for years. A therapist once asked me why I stayed so busy all the time. When I said I had no idea, it just seemed that was how my life went, he asked me this question. “What are you so afraid to stop and think about that you have to stay so busy?” I hated that question then and now because I know there is some truth in it. Maybe a lot of truth. I would have to stop long enough to think about it really and I just don’t have the time.

Anyway, listening to the girls play as I was trying to call our ISP for the fourth time made me think about my grown children. I have very little regret about the kind of mother I was. Oh sure I wish I had said yes more and no less. I wish I had been kinder and laughed at the childish things that made me angry. I wish I had stayed less busy and been more connected in the now of the day. One thing I know for sure though, wishing changes nothing. What is behind me is behind me and I can never go back. I also have no promise of a tomorrow. What I do have is this moment right now. That’s all I get. That’s all you get too by the way.

So, this week has not gone my way. I did not get to go back downtown due to work issues. I did not get to go today either due to the weather. I cannot get any work done because of having no internet. What I am getting to do, being forced to do really, is live in this moment. I think I could learn to like this.

C ~ You’re my mom’s mom

N ~ That’s right

C ~ Mimi is my dad’s mom

N ~ That’s right, Rini Beanie

C ~ When I get home I turn into a monster

C ~ It’s chocolate lemonade cake, Nona. Eat it all up. I’m a pretty good cook.

A ~ I don’t get why people don’t go to school when they say don’t go to school because it’s dangerous to drive in the snow then grown-ups drive to work in the snow. I don’t get that.

A ~ Nona, you have ice cubes on your house. It’s so pretty outside I can’t stop looking at it.

C ~ Yes, I do

A ~ No, you don’t

C ~ Yes, I do

A ~ No, you don’t

C ~ Yes, I do, Lisa

A ~ I’m not Lisa. I’m Nancy

N ~ Hey girls, take it easy on my window.

C ~ But this is our hospital.

N ~ It’s gonna be a hospital if you break my window.

C ~ But this is my monster house.

A ~Whoa, look outside Corina!

C~ It’s blowing snowing!