Why Can't We Be Friends?

I am really struggling tonight. I made the mistake of watching a little news and reading a little social media. A little was too much. I'm going back to protecting my mind from the onslaught of hatred and negativity that continues to swirl in the air. It's too much for me and I end up hating people and hermiting away with my animals. Judge me. I don't care. 

Me, my cousin Anna Maria, my sister Kelly. (1965)

I saw this picture tonight and it made me really sad. Not just because Anna Maria and Kelly are both gone but because of all the fighting and rejection and meanness I am witnessing among families and friends, including my own. Looking at this photo reminds me how incredibly short life is and how limited time-wise we are in opportunities to show love and kindness and acceptance. I don't and won't accept every thought or view of those I care about but I'll be damned if I'm going to name call, call out, harass, ignore, reject or unfriend, on FaceBook or in real life, anybody just because they don't agree with me. How completely arrogant and self-righteous I would be, if I thought that way. I could not have disagreed more with Anna Maria and Kelly regarding some of their life choices. I'm sure they could have said the same about me. But no matter what, they were my family and I loved them so when they called, and they both did, needing my help, even though we were barely speaking, I ran to them. I would do it again. Life is too short for this nonsense. The clock is ticking.

Me and my cousin Cher. (2015)

Our cousins, Kelly and Cher, Bob and me. Elton John concert for my birthday 03/15/2019

Cher and I are only one month apart in age. She is more like a sister to me than a cousin. Cher has been there for me in some of my darkest days and we have also shared some of the best times in life together. Kelly and Cher are our concert buddies and we can't wait to start going back to hear the music, dance, sing and laugh with them again. We love them dearly. 

Cher and Kelly were hit by a hit and run driver last week that forced their car off the highway into a tree. They both could have been killed. Their Land Cruiser was totaled. They survived but not without some serious bumps, bruises, cuts and more importantly emotional scars. Kelly and Cher are two of the strongest people I know. They are good and kind, loving and generous. They will heal physically and emotionally, in time. I am confident of that. It could have turned out very differently though and their accident brought that home to me once again.

In the last few years, I have lost three cousins, all young in their twenties/thirties. I had plans. I was going to see them again, we were going to talk and connect. I wanted my children to know their younger cousins and I spoke about this with my kids. But we ran out of the one thing I thought we had plenty of. Time.

We don't have plenty of time. We don't have time to waste. We can't keep wasting the limited time we do have on anger and disappointment, bitterness and resentment. We have to let go of that shit. We have to forgive and move forward. 

Mark Twain said to not forgive is to drink poison and wait for the other person to die. I've greedily guzzled poison over my lifetime and waited for the people that did me wrong to die. It almost killed me. 

So, all that to say, I'm guarding my heart, mind and soul better from now on because my mother was right. I can't change the whole world but I can change my world.