Sometimes people come into your life for a season. Sometimes, for a lifetime. I'm beyond blessed because of the number of lifetime people that fill my heart and soul with memories. It's these memories that have helped me remember who I am and why I'm here during some difficult times. Memories are a powerful thing. Good and bad. I'm choosing to focus on the good. Most days, anyway.
I came across this photograph tonight of some of my Oklahoma friends. The word friends seems so soft and squishy compared to who these women are. They are fierce, loving, bold and kind. Warriors when need be and ridiculously funny when set loose. I haven't seen them in years but it doesn't change the impact they've had on my life or my deep love for each of them.
I'd like to tell you just a little bit about each of them.
Stephanie, Jana, Me, Leonard (Steph's husband), Beulah, Diana
Stephanie ~ I spent so much time with Stephanie when I lived in Oklahoma that she felt like a little sister to me. She would come out to the farm with her kids almost every Tuesday and we would spend the day visiting, canning, crocheting, having deep discussions and light-hearted conversations. I needed a Stephanie in my life and there she was. The one conversation I will never forget actually happened at her house. I was out running errands in the city and was really struggling with some depression. I just could not seem to get past this negative thing going on in my head, even though I was seeing a counselor. It was affecting everything in my life. As I was driving near Steph's house, I felt compelled to stop. I headed her direction thinking I would grab a cup of coffee and a quick chat and be on my way. When I knocked on her back door, she welcomed me in with open arms as always and immediately led me to the kitchen table while she made our coffees. Once settled, we chatted for a few minutes about nothing important until I started to cry. I mean blubbering cry. For probably a solid 5 minutes I wailed on about what a miserable human being I was and how awful life was and blah, blah, blah. Stephanie was holding my hands by this time, staring straight at me with a look of concern. As soon as I took a breath, and waited for her to say something, she did the most amazing thing ever. She started to laugh. Just a small laugh at first. I was shocked and looked at her in disbelief. When she saw the look on my face, she laughed harder and said, "You know none of that stuff in your head is true, right?" I started to sputter some sort of retort but I couldn't come up with anything that made any sense, so I started to laugh. Before I knew what was happening we were both laughing hysterically. It was insane but in the best kind of way. I stayed for hours and we talked and prayed and laughed some more and cried a few tears. It was absolute healing.
Jana ~ My Jana. We started off as acquaintances, became business partners and ended up sister/friends. Jana is everything I am not. She is forgiving beyond measure. When someone broke her heart by being a total scoundrel, she forgave. Not only did she forgive but she refused to allow me to burn all their belongings and run into them with my tractor. That's the kind of person she is. She saved me from myself more than a few times. I want to be more like her. She has taught me about perseverance and never losing hope. Jana has been the friend I can call for help and she shows up no matter what. Like the time I went to pay for my $300 worth of groceries and realized I had left my wallet at home. I was absolutely mortified until Jana walked by, saw what was happening and paid for my groceries. That's been Jana in my life, showing up when I needed her most and doing what needed to be done without a second thought. In the last few weeks of caring for my dad before he died, it was Jana that would show up and cook, clean and sing. Man, can that girl sing. She would sit with my dad and watched westerns so I could shower or work or just take a nap. My dad loved her and she loved him. I didn't trust many with Carlos Casas but I absolutely trusted Jana.
Beulah ~ I am so grateful for the time I had with Beulah. She is Stephanie and Dianna's mom but the truth is, she is a mom to everyone that knows her. I never heard a harsh word from her. She is truly everything good in this world. So many times in my 20 years in Oklahoma, it was Beulah that spoke encouragement to me in the way only a mother could. After my own mother died, I helped my sisters pack up all of my mothers clothes. They wanted to donate them to Goodwill but I just couldn't do it. We banged heads for a week over the decision but I was not going back to Oklahoma without my mothers clothes. I just couldn't do it. Even though my sisters thought I was crazy and I knew they were right, I packed my mothers personal belongings and headed home not knowing what I was going to do with it all. A few weeks later, I saw Beulah and told her about the clothes. We decided together she would take them and so she did. Looking back, I don't know that she ever really wanted them but what I do know is, she loved me and wanted to help me let go. I will never forget her for doing that for me.
Dianna ~ This is another one of those friendships that goes deep. She's an encourager and a true friend. If Dianna loves you, you know it. She and I have gone through some hard times together and through some of the most amazing times together. I miss her and her laugh. There is something very healing about time with Dianna. I've always thought she could have been a Casas girl. She's loud and funny and loves big. Dianna is a midwife and has been there for several of my grandchildren's births and quite a few of our mutual friend's children's births. I have loved being a part of these births with her by my side. Well, except one. I loved being at the birth and helping deliver the baby. It was pure magic as always. But this time, there were a few stitches involved afterwards and Diana thought I was just the gal to help her. That is typical of her. Dianna always sees the best in others and believes in them when they don't believe in themselves. Ok, she was wrong that time, but normally, she's good at bringing out the best in others including me.
These are just four of the women I consider true friends. There are many others and I am grateful. Looking at this photo tonight made me wonder how many times I have missed an opportunity to tell people how I feel about them and what they mean to me. I don't want to ever miss that chance again. Life really is short with no guarantees. Tell the people in your life what they mean to you. I mean it. Do it. Say please and thank you to the stranger that waits on you or opens a door for you. Call your parents, your siblings, your cousins, your friends and tell them you love them. Thank them. Apologize if you need to. Just do it. It's time.
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