Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Envelope Please....

I haven’t posted in over a week. Some of you noticed, some of you didn’t and some, like my sisters, held a celebration thinking they had been liberated. Like that will ever happen! Anyway, the truth is, I have been writing every day, just not on my blog. I have a work in progress. I don’t talk about it much because I am a coward and cannot face the fear of failure or rejection. I must be loved at all costs. We are talking the need for serious therapy here, folks. Anyway, aside from a few days of an aching back from all my foolishness at the wedding, I have been writing. And no, you may not read it.

One of the other things I have been putting off for months now is posting the awards people have bestowed upon me. Along with my insatiable need to be loved, adored and admired is my total and complete embarrassment when someone says something nice to me. Like I have always said…I. Need. Therapy.

Anyway, I am finally posting some of the awards. Here. Now. If for no other reason, read on to see what amazing people I have been able to fool. No, seriously. The people that have graciously given these awards to me are some of the most inspiring, incredible human beings I have ever met… on the internet. I understand, in reality, they are probably all sixty-three year old felons, sitting at their stolen computers in their dingy little apartments, pretending to be who I think they are. But please….don’t burst my bubble.

So, without further ado….the envelope please!

Katherine Jenkins is married to a monk. No, seriously! The woman is amazing and deep and always has something to say that makes me think. I love her and her blog, Lessons From The Monk I Married. Katherine gave me this award back during the ice age and I am finally accepting it, with humble heart. Thanks, Katherine!

So, now I am meant to write 10 things that make me happy. I am going to be completely honest with my answers, so ….deal with it.

1. The smell of a horse…and the smell of horse poop. Bottle the stuff and I will wear it.

2. Writing …other than checks for bills.

3. Making people laugh, especially my sisters because they are usually such sour, old women. Any small hint of joy I can bring into their lives makes my life worth living.

4. My children…when their children drive them crazy. Being a grandma is God’s sweet revenge. Thank you, God!

5. Bob, my husband, my best friend, my luvah! Am I talking about four different people? Don’t be silly. One man’s enough to train. Just kidding, baby! wink wink

6. People. I love people. I love feeding them and talking to them and having lots of them in my house. Especially if they are over thirty. And don’t want to borrow money.

7. Reading. I. Love. To. Read. I read every day. I cannot read enough. You’d think with all the reading I do I would be smarter by now. Such is life.

8. Gathering eggs from the henhouse…with a rake in one hand….to bat the rooster across the pen with when he attacks. I swear I can hear him say, “My name is Freckles the Rooster. You stole my babies. Prepare to die.” With a Spanish accent, of course. (Name that movie, Marie!)

9. Random dancing. I break out into random dancing at the most, well, random times. My Aunt Zora use to do it and we all said she was crazy. I get it now. Thanks, Aunt Zora!

10. Kissing. I love kissing. I kiss my kids. I kiss my grandkids. I kiss every single critter on the farm. Except Freckles. He’ll peck my eyes out. I also kiss Bob, but usually just to gross my kids out. Works every time.

I now bestow this prestigious award onto 10 bloggers that make me happy.

I can hear them cursing me now. You're welcome...even if you are a bunch of criminals.

An Oklahoma Granny is all about being an Oklahoman, to me anyway. She loves her farm, her family and Nascar. Seriously, Granny? Nascar? Anyway, she is sweet and kind and normal. I have no idea why she likes me. But she must because she gave me this award.

So, the blogger that makes me pucker like a big old glass of sour lemonade is Blasé at My Game It's Your Move.  Blasé is the train wreck I just can’t seem to look away from. He makes me laugh… disgusted… and pray. Often, all in the same post. I do love ya, Blasé and I am praying for you. You seriously need Jesus… and therapy!

The next award is not an award but rather a Tag which I believe is more of a slap upside the head. Anyway, it comes from UberGrumpy. He says he is from across the pond, however, I look out across our pond every day and have yet to see him. Regardless, I need to answer his ten questions and then pass this on. Being a former, obedient, Catholic schoolgirl, I will comply…this time.

1. What is your current obsession? Asparagus

2. What do you think about the person who tagged you? Reading his blog makes me crave warm beer and Curly-Wurlies.

3. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Switzerland. Would I have to tell the kids I moved?

4. What's your favorite quote? “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” Mark Twain

5. Who do you want to meet right now? A life coach.

6. What's your favorite magazine? Woman’s Day. I subscribed because I thought it was going to be about women finally getting their day. It’s about cooking and cleaning.

7. What do your friends call you most commonly? "You remember Marla, right? The crazy one?"

8. Would you prefer coffee or tea? Coffee…served in bed…in my favorite cup…with just the right amount of girly cream added. I’m not picky.

9. What makes you go wild? Monkeys. And The Monkees. I love you, Davey Jones! Call me.

10. Who's your favorite deep sea diver? Diver Dan, the 1960’s cartoon. I watched him every day. Because of Diver Dan, I fear barracuda to this day.

Now, because I am so bad at awards and Tom is just plain bad, I respectfully pass this Tag on to him at Sophisticated Lunacy. Be careful, though. He is quite deep in the way of many a lunatic.

That brings me to this award given to me by Mommy Lisa. She said she loved this post I wrote . It was about wanting to kill my friend's husband if I recall. Anyway, for some reason it made her give me this award. She must need therapy too. No matter. Thanks again, Lisa, for encouraging my bad behavior with this award.

I don’t think this next one is an actual award, either. I think it is more like being hit with a water balloon. Anyway, my sweet, little Italian bloggy friend Lorenza, @ Pure Energy, hurled it at me. I am suppose to tell you where I will be in 10 years. Because I love Lorenza, I will tell.

Dear Bloggers,

Ten years from now I believe I will be in the poor house, jail or a convent. It’s hard to decide which way to go.



I now tag Deborah @ Fashion Plate. You have officially been hurled on, Deb.

Ok, believe it or not, there are more but I need to get dressed and act like I have a life. So until next time…..thank you to all convicted felons! I appreciate your appreciation.


Blasé said...

If it wasn't for Jesus...our Townhouse grounds would go to hell. Jesus and his crew really do a nice job with the lawn and upkeep. He may not understand my language, but he understands when I 'point' and wave...

Marla said...

Blasé ~ My point exactly!

TechnoBabe said...

You have a talent, you know. You are so funny and such a delight to read ever word your write. If I try to read too fast or skip a paragraph I will miss something funny so I have to read every single word.

Oklahoma Granny said...

Marla, Sorry to disappoint you but while we live in the country and do have some acreage, other than dogs we - at present - don't have any animals. So farm probably isn't the right word to describe what we are. But my husband is talking about getting some cows and he will probably do so eventually but it will drive me crazy. He's wanting them to raise and then butcher. How does he expect me to eat something that I've watched grow up? He'll just have to get a privacy fence to put his cows behind. LOL!

Yep! We like our NASCAR. I think of myself as well rounded. Imagine me smiling very big here - in more ways than one.

Have a wonderful weekend. Congrats on all your awards. You deserve each and every one of them.

Marla said...

Techno ~ You are too kind!!

Ok Granny ~ Now, I am not tryig to argue with you but I must disagree. You do indeed have a farm....according to California standards. :-)

Pricilla said...

Thank you very much for my award. I love them but the publicist forgets them.
Stupid publicist.
I really need to butt her....

ModernMom said...

Oh you so deserve every single one of those awards! You are fabulous and should know that! Oh and I think I heart you even more because not only do you love coffee, but love it in bed with just the right amount of girly cream. Perfection!

Brian Miller said...

aw, thank you for thinking of me...
i am thinking you would make quite the splash with eau de horse may not get many of those kisses though...

so even if i ask pretty please to read it...smiles.

Monkey Man said...

Well worth the wait. These were awesome memes. Now I will have to go check out a few more blogs...damn...seems I follow so many as it is. Addiction is a terrible thing.Just one more.

Mommy Lisa said...

Of COURSE I need therapy. Plus, did I ever tell you I got a full body hug from Peter Tork? True story!

Cheeseboy said...

Haven't done a real post in over a week too, so I hardly noticed.

Congrats on the awards and you have my curiosity peaked about this recent "project".

Sarah said...

Thanks Marla! Don't forget to grab the fireworks award--you are awesome!

The Good Girls

Sarah said...

Marla--I figured out how to do the link. Copy this code except for the [[ ]]:

[[<a href=">Butts and Ashes</a>]]

Coby said...

I am NOT, I will have you know, a 63 year-old felon. I am a 33 year-old felon. And I used to work with Nancy at Away We Go. She's definitely a felon. But she's 35. Something like that. Whatever.

Anyhoo, thanks for the award! I humbly, and feloniously (is that a word? It should be) accept.

Unknown Mami said...

My goodness, I had no idea I was showing up to an awards show. I'm so under-dressed.

Anonymous said...


You forgot to add to your favorites the smell of babies cause they smell like little puppies behind the ears....:)Marie

Kfred said...

I recently remodeled my site and removed my trophy case as it was becoming more of an a-trophy case. Regardless, your pseudo- award violates everything we strive for at FTI as we prefer to work in anonymity to avoid any attention by local law enforcement. On behalf of the Misfits, we ignore your designation and ask that you remove us from your list of those whom make you happy

Deborah said...

I must be tired Marla, I can't figure out which one is mine?

[rubbing eyes with fists]

Thank you smart-girl.

Deborah said...

That sounded bad, like you're smart for picking me. I don't believe that for a minute.

Ha! and you're just smrt.

Ms. Anthropy said...

Girl, you are one of the very few people that can make an awards post, such an interesting read! When I get past the weekend, I will come back and check them out. (except for the one that already hates me)

Tgoette said...

Congrats on your awards, Marla! They are quite deserved I'm sure! And thank you for the TAG and the shout out. I sincerely appreciate it. Also, thank you for all so many wonderful comments you have left on my blog...I do believe you may have set a new record. LOL!

One question though. Did you mean I was bad as in bad, or bad as in bad. I always get them mixed up. LOL!

Pearl said...

Marla! Such interesting facts about you!

Thank you so much for the award. My computer is currently in rehab for some sort of rehabilitation. I don't know -- it's all been very hush hush. Suffice it to say that I have been without an easily accessed computer for three days and will not have easy access for at least two weeks. I will drop by again from work to pick up my award but wanted to let you know now how much I appreciate it.

As for your WIP (work in progress), bite the bullet and let us have a taste. I don't think you could ask for a better audience. :-)


Two Shades of Pink said...

Marla, you make me laugh! And you deserve every single award. But I must say as funny as you embracing the "whole horse" fragrance may be, I have officially canceled our holiday visit. I draw the line there. I fear you will make some sort of potpourri from horse hair and droppings for the guest room. Shudder.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Wow, you are a popular girl. Congratulations on all your awards!!!!

And, um, asparagus?

Bon appetite,

Silver Strands said...

Ok ... it's true. I've missed reading your blog posts. I'd say it was worth the wait, but when you're posting regularly, they're just as good. So don't leave us again!

honeypiehorse said...


Lily Robinson said...

I'm afraid to say I loved it... You'll just tell me I need therapy. I already know that!

As I'm reading about the bloggers you 'honored', I'm lovin' the descriptions & blog names... Wait a minute! I don't have time to read even more. I can't even make it often to the ones I follow now! I am intrigued however...

But yeah, horses do smell good!

Modern Military Mother said...

Hello - I am loving your blog. Although I might have to lie down as I am now exhuasted from the energy your project. I am adding you to my blogroll!

Please stop by again to my blog.

And I love the Monkees too - Davey Jones is mine! Although you can have him now - I want him then when his bob was all silky.