Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

My sister Kelly called the other night. You remember Kelly, right? The one in the hospital recently with the brain tumor and the spine tumor, here a tumor, there a tumor. Yeah, her. Anyway, seems she had not been up to doing much of anything since her spinal surgery a few weeks back. That included reading my blog. Yeah, this blog. The one she said was a pile of crap and she would never read it again. That one. Well, she lied. The bad thing is, she read it. The great thing is, she can still read.


She called to tell me she was definitely calling an attorney. She said she has had enough of my foolishness at her expense. She reminded me about telling all of you about her impending boob job. Remember that? It was a joke. A little joke because she DID ask McDreamy to do one and he agreed. How was I to know they were joking? Besides, all communication is blog fodder. It’s in the constitution… somewhere. Anyway, I tried to convince her I never said that. I told her what I had actually said was, I thought SHE was a boob. She didn’t buy it. I think they might have lowered her meds from insane to sane. Dang it!

Then she brought up the Courtney Love photo.


How could I post such a terrible picture of her when she was in the throws of suffering, she whined. I told her it was easy now that I knew how to use the different little editing and posting buttons. She asked if I thought I was funny. I told her, I definately crack myself up on a pretty regular basis.

And the old man photo. She was mad that people would believe this stuff I write and think she was some kind of a golddigger or worse.


I assured her nobody was going to think any worse of her than they already did....old man or not.

And the hula hoop photo.


She wanted to know what I was trying to do, make people think she was crazy? I assured her being loopy usually makes people like you. Look at me!

She has seriously threatened legal action if I ever show them again.
Especially this one.


I’m good with it though. The most she could possibly walk away with is three horses, a donkey, and some chickens. Hey, you can’t get blood from a turnip.



Anyway, I just want to say, I am completely ashamed of myself.



Taking advantage of my little sister when she looks like this is not nice.


I am a bad sister. Please forgive me. I will never post these photos again.


So, here is the rub in all of this. I have agreed, as payment for all my cruelty in posting about my poor, little, decrepit sister, to go to California and take care of her for two weeks. It is going to be a brutal job. I can only hope there will be margaritas and karaoke involved. I promise you this, no matter what... There will be pictures!
Stay tuned.....he he he he he

25 comments:

Coby said...

Who will suffer more when you are taking care of Kelly? You, or her? ;-) I think you should just settle out of court and agree to supply her with farm-fresh eggs for a year.

Monkey Man said...

Don't forget your camera.

Ms. Anthropy said...

Somewhere along the way (and I've been here a good while) I didn't know, or forgot she lived in California. Why did she travel all the way to Houston for surgery? Don't they have good doctors in CA? That's a long way to travel to be cut on. Bet the trip back was grueling. Makes my back hurt just to think about it!

Oklahoma Granny said...

Ah - the love between two sisters. There's just nothing like it!

gayle said...

You are so funny!!What a loving sister you are!!

Frau said...

You are in trouble....maybe blogger can block her from post titled sister!

aLmYbNeNr said...

LOL I love it. Posting the pics over and over! Have fun taking care of lil sis...I'm glad she seems to be doing well!

Brian Miller said...

you are so bad...lol. have a great trip...and al new experiences are open to blog fodder right? smiles.

Parsley said...

You are B...A...D!

Glen said...

I'm guessing when you were growing up, you were simply known as "The Evil One" cool :-)

Marla said...

Coby ~ I will send my final offer of eggs to her attorney. Great idea! As for the suffering, I am positive it will be a duel to the finish! :-)

Ok Granny ~ A truer statement, never spoken.

Glen ~ Well, that was my official title but my friends just called me Miss Evil One. :-)

Andrea said...

Hilarious. Marla you just keep diggin' yourself in deeper. I have a feeling you will pay dearly during your two weeks in California...

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

hahahaha! be sure to take lots of pictures!!! speaking of pictures, where's the one of you in "the" dress - you know, the one you wore to the wedding. i'm still waiting to see it.

TechnoBabe said...

Yes, more pictures, good for you. Just keep giving your sister her meds and keep snapping photos. You two have a wonderful relationship.

Mama Zen said...

The blog fodder will be EPIC.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You are soooo in trouble. You better sleep in California with one eye open :-)

Safe travels and I hope Sis is feeling better.

jj

Respectfully Yours said...

How funny. Have fun and take pics...LOL How far can you push your sister....we shall see.

NZMoores said...

We had a sister farewell last night. One bottle of wine and a $22 internet wig make for an amazing send-off. Hope you sisters leave no stone unturned and no wall standing. Remember to take along the bail bondsman's number.

Enchanted Oak said...

I'm going to join in and whine about Where is the dress? Enough about your poor sis, I want to see that sexsational outfit for the wedding.
You promised we would meet for coffee when you come to California again. There's a small city on the central coast where planes stop. It will only cost you $800 to fly here. I will buy the coffee.

Unknown Mami said...

Who needs enemies with sisters like you? You are naughty.

Sarah said...

What are sisters for? Take more pictures. Try to have some fun in Cali as well.

Anna, The Lemon Lady said...

Have fun in California. I'm already here, most of my life. You're lucky to have a sister to visit and vice versa. I have a sister I rarely see, but either of us could drive the 400 miles to visit, I suppose. Life is just so busy!

guitpicken61 said...

I had to fish around quite a bit to see if you were still blogging. I'm glad to find that you are still a horrible, horrible human as your sense of humor goes. I laughed out loud(literally). May your time together be wonderful and her recovery complete. Enjoy the weather. It's more mild than it is at home.

Just Be Real said...

Oh my oh my oh my. :)

Marla said...

Teresa ~ The sexy dress post should be up in the next few days. I'm working on it!!

Guitpicken61 ~ Horrible? Me? I have no idea what you are refering to. :-)