Friday, March 26, 2010

Have You Ever Been Stoned?

I have and I hope to never do it again. Being stoned for the last two weeks has really ruined my mojo. I am behind in everything. I don’t feel like cooking, cleaning, writing or much of anything else. I just want to lay in bed and fade in and out of consciousness. Oh, I occasionally get online, read your blogs and leave my clever comments but the truth is, even that is too much effort these days. I think it is time for an intervention.

Poor wiped out gross looking Stoner


Bob insisted I see the doctor today. He even stayed home to take me to my appointment. The man is wonderful like that. Sure enough, Dr. Ric took one look and listen, checked my blood work from the other day and verified what we already suspected. Kidney stones have taken up residence in my nether regions. He was even good enough to draw pictures for me and use words like, bleeding urethra, swollen bladder and surgery if the stone(s) decide to not pass on their own. Did I mention my kidney stones came with a matching UTI? Very trendy, I know. Do you feel light-headed, nauseous, ready to run screaming from the room? Yeah, me too!


These are actual kidney stones. I hope mine look like this. I am pretty sure I could Ebay them as earrings.


So, there is my weekly whining, moaning and groaning. I know I am so offtrack with my blog and The List. I know all I do lately is complain about being depressed, having the flu and kidney stones with a side of UTI. If I could only look and feel like I use to, I would feel better.


Me, before I was a Stoner

I may be delirious. That is all.

31 comments:

Parsley said...

Oh my dear friend. I'm so sorry! I've been lucky and never been 'stoned' but my husband was once. He was in so much pain.

You ARE wonder woman to me if you are typing in complete, understandable sentences under that much pain!

Monkey Man said...

How awful. I hope you are able to have this taken care of. It sounds very OUCH.

Blasé said...

I've never been stoned or had kidney stones.

Kidney stones is my greatest nightmare just because of what it entails...The thought of it makes me woosy. Plus, I don't do well with pain.

I hope you get your "mojo" back by Sunday. I'm expecting you to boogy-on-down at my Party.


I wish you well and healthy very soon.

Enchanted Oak said...

Oh, I am so sorry. Hope the pain pills are effective!

Janean said...

oh honey bun, my hubby had those...NOT FUN...however, a friend of mine just had them and is completely fine now...

hoping "this too shall pass."

(gentle hug)

p.s. at first glance i thought they were earrings too. ewwww...ick. LOL.

Andrea said...

Take care of yourself Marla. The List will be there when you get better!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Oh you poor thing. On an upnote, the kidney stones certainly do look like earrings.

Boomer Pie said...

Marla, your kidney stones look like peanut butter clusters! I'm just sayin' Hope you feel better real soon.

Coby said...

Uhm, OUCH!!! I had a kidney infection once - it was AWFUL. No stones though, thank goodness.

How do you have the strength to type? I hope this is all over for you soon!

This, too, shall pass. ;-) (Couldn't resist a little pun)

Kfred said...

hmmmmmm............I'm at one of those pivotal points in our online relationship: Should I pour it on or show restraint? tick...tick... tick...tick. Ok. I'll behave.

Hurry up and get better. We'll go play 21 together.

Brian Miller said...

the thought of them as ear rings gives me a shiver...no stones here...do hope they pass with minimal discomfort...

Deborah said...

Oh dear!

You deserve better. That's a huge sacrifice for a pair of earrings.

:(

Rae said...

I feel your misery. I have been stoned myself a time or two. Most miserable days of my life. I hope you are the mend soon and back to being Wonder Woman.

Ms. Anthropy said...

At least you have a justifiable excuse. I sure don't, unless you count old age brainless lazy. Feel Better Wonder Woman!

Sarah said...

that doesn't sound pleasant at all. i'm sorry to have been stoned. i'save the stones if i were you though. :) get better soon!

Two Shades of Pink said...

I keep trying to write words and the image of those kidney stone earrings on your ears keep coming to mind. I've got nothing. Prayers and compassion but no words.

Mrs4444 said...

Oh, you poor thing!! And wow--those kidney stones!! I'm so sorry for you :(

TechnoBabe said...

I heard the kidney stones are very painful. I am so sorry you have all these ailments to contend with. Take care and I hope you are well soon, without having surgery.

Oklahoma Granny said...

Well bless your heart! I've never experienced that kind of pain so I really don't know what to say other than I hope everything comes out ok and you'll be feeling better soon. I'll be praying for you!

Sonya said...

You poor thing..Im so sorry you are going through all this. Get better soon..sending big hugs to you:)

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Ha ha. I thought this was a different kind of post at first. I get kidney stones and they arent fun. A friend of mine is going through one right now. Hope you feel better!

Unknown Mami said...

As soon as the I saw the stones I thought they would make lovely earrings.

The list and your blog will be there when you are ready. Take care of yourself. I am sending you positive thoughts.

kbxmas said...

Bloody hilarious!! Though I'm sorry you're having to deal with this crud. Ouch. I've never had kidney stones (UTI's, plenty). For the record, I've spent the entire day flat on my back with a monster migraine, stoned on Vicodin (for all the good that does me).

25BAR said...

I've been stoned. Not yer *kidney* stoned. lol. hope you get better soon.but even in this state, you're funny. that ebay bit.

Mama Zen said...

That sounds truly miserable. I hope that you feel better soon!

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Ow. Hope you feel better soon.

And you're absolutely right. You could sell those as earrings! You might be onto something there... :)

MindyBB said...

Okay, I am so sorry you are a stoner! I have a dear friend of mine who did this cleanse I suggested and I was so deathly scared it wouldn't work... Well, because I'd never tried it myself, but eagerly offered a remedy for nothing I had ever experienced! I know I know- I'm bad! It however, worked! But I must send you the link to this girl who did this same type of cleanse and if you need laughter therapy this will do it! So what is your schedule Friday? This Friday April 2? I'm coming through with my girl punk...

Mark said...

I've had several bouts with kidney stones but not for a while (where's that damn wood!!!). Anytime I get any type of twinge in my back I panic that it's a stone coming. Best of luck.

Nicole said...

Most painful experience of my life passing that stone. In the hospital, peed in the cup, looked like chunky cranberry juice. The dr took one look and was like, I guess you are in pain. Thank God for the morphine shot!

Hope you feel better soon!

Anna, The Lemon Lady said...

Oh, I feel your pain - sort of. I used to suffer with chronic urinary pain, constant UTI. Found out they weren't always infections, rather severe bladder pain caused by sensitivity to food chemicals. Needless to say - I eat mostly whole, unprocessed foods and have lived happily ever after since.

For a writer, your blog is cute. Sorry the stoned is kindneys! :)

Don't they kind of look like nasturtium seeds?

gayle said...

Hope you are feeling better now!!