Monday, March 22, 2010

Damn You Ernest Hemingway

I love to write. It is my passion. So why is it then that every time I make up my mind to sit down to write, my head begins to swim with excuses to keep me from writing? If I had the answer to that, well, I would be published! Here is a typical day in my writing life:


7:43 am ~ Wake up with an incredible idea for a story.

7:45 am ~ Jump out of bed and quickly write the main points down so I won't forget by the time I get to the computer. After all, I am 52 now.

8:08 am ~ Decide I better brush my teeth, shower and get dressed before writing. THEY do say it's better to treat writing like a real job instead of sitting in your pajamas all day.

9:13 am ~ After completing the aforementioned tasks, decide I better eat breakfast since THEY say you accomplish more when you start with a healthy breakfast. Spend an hour cleaning the kitchen, fridge, stove, oven and toaster. I hate breakfast and couldn't find anything appealing but figured I might as well get something done while in the kitchen anyway.

10:17 am ~ Head upstairs to write! See the three birds in their three cages and realize I should clean the three cages and feed the three birds first. An hour later I have three clean bird cages full of three happy, fat birds. Haven't written one stinking word.

11:22 am ~ Finally sit down at the computer where I see the power bill sitting on the keyboard. Remember I need to pay the power bill today or I will be writing with pen and paper. So, I get online and pay the power bill. Finally ready to write.

11:39 am ~ Latest news bulletin flashes on computer screen. Not being a Britney Spears fan, I decide I don't really need to know if she is pregnant or not but curiosity gets the better of me and I click on the TMZ link in the "news" bulletin. Britney is not pregnant. I am still not writing.

12:01 pm ~ Decide since it is now lunch time and I didn't eat breakfast, I had better head downstairs and find something healthy to eat. THEY say I will have a better day if I do.

12:03 pm ~ Make it downstairs when I remember I am almost out of underwear. Run to the hamper, schlep the laundry out to the garage, start the first of numerous loads needing to be done since last Wednesday. Read the detergent bottle wishing I had written it.

12:48 pm ~ While in the garage, the freezer catches my eye reminding me I have taken nothing out for dinner. Take out some meat to thaw then realize I have no idea what to make with it once it is no longer a chunk of ice.

1:07 pm ~ Grab a granola bar and a HUGE cup of coffee hoping THEY will not know this is my breakfast and lunch. Head back upstairs to look up a recipe for tonight's dinner on Cooks.com, then I will definitely focus on writing.

1:23 pm ~ Once back online, I remember Rachael Ray has some great recipes, so I surf on over to her web address in the hopes of finding a great 30 minute meal. I suddenly understand the importance of a 30 minute meal after realizing I have just spent two hours cruising through her website. I am starting to hate the written word.

3:33 pm ~ Kids come in the front door from school just as I realize I HAVE to start dinner if we are going to eat sometime during today's date.

3:35 pm ~ Go back downstairs to greet the kids, listen to their day's tragedies and triumphs, start dinner, throw the wet laundry in the dryer and the next dirty load in the washer, set the table, feed the dogs, answer the phone, kiss the husband who just walked in the door, put dinner on the table, clean the kitchen, order kids to baths and beds and finally collapse on the couch.

9:17 pm ~ Sit pondering what it must feel like to be a writer.

35 comments:

Ms. Anthropy said...

Marla... Sisterfriend... with your busy life, I don't know how you ever have time to write anything... but I'm so glad you do!

Oklahoma Granny said...

It is so easy to start to do something then get side tracked. I certainly feel for you.

TechnoBabe said...

You did a great job writing this post if that makes you feel like you accomplished some writing!

Brian Miller said...

lol. where to find the time...
a fun walk through your day though...smiles.

Gucci Mama said...

I'm the same way every time I try to write; I don't know what it is!

Lily Robinson said...

OMG! We live the exact same life! You're too funny. I especially liked the Britney Spears part... What is wrong with us? Why do we click everything?

BTW... haven't written today.

Ida said...

You need to forget what THEY say and when you have an idea, write right then. After all, THEY also say to 'strike while the irons hot.'

Sarah said...

what you need is a wife, so you can concentrate on writing.

Enchanted Oak said...

I vote that the next time you get a good idea for a story, you sit right down in your pjs and write.

honeypiehorse said...

Oh, boy, I hear you. At least you captured the idea before it was lost.

Michelle said...

Funny post. Maybe you should write at night when the day's work is done and everyone is in bed...but then who will get up the next day to get the day's work done so you can work at night? Okay, scratch that idea.

Deborah said...

OMG - I am laughing so hard. I could have written this! You and I are sisters girl.

This might be why sometimes I'm still in my jammies at 11:00 in the morning. If I don't start right when I have the idea, it doesn't happen.

Not that it's good, but there it is yes?

Aaaah you are funny!

Kfred said...

Wouldn't it be easier to just post your grocery list and intersperse a couple of swear words?

ModernMom said...

LOL You just described my every day! Glad I am not alone:)

Amarja said...

Hhahhaha. that's so funny! Yep, that's how life goes.. LOL Even I have no time enough to get things done and I do not even have kids (yet) :) But one funny thing happened: you did write a real great blog! (and in my mind I see you doing all this stuff in your house)

UberGrumpy said...

:)

It's no good - you're going to have to be a nocturnal writer...

Just Be Real/God Whispers In The Wind said...

Amazing that you can keep a time schedule on what you were not able to accomplish in the first place. But, ended up accomplishing everything else. Love the post. Thanks.

Shelle said...

'You did a great job writing this post'

i say so too...that sounds like my day....and i don't get anything i want to get accomplished. just remember you blog is you life time achievement credit...just think, your kids and grandkids will always be able to read all your thoughts, & wisdom, trials & tribulations...what better legacy is there?

Six Feet Under Blog said...

I know how that goes. Im supposed to be writing my new book right now. lol

dogsmom said...

Your day sounds familiar - change bird cages for cat litterboxes, add in running dogs out 3 or more times a day, but you did remind me I have to go launder some whites!

Before I had children I was an amazing writer.

Unknown Mami said...

Screw what "They" say. I say, you are not allowed to brush your teeth or go downstairs until you write one full page. Then you can do whatever "They" say.

Tgoette said...

Life is so hectic sometimes that I don't get a chance to write until the wee hours...even pulling an all-nighter on occasion. I feel your pain, kiddo. Thanks for breaking free to post this one though! Great job!

Kristin said...

Wow, lady. You've got one jam packed life and if you manage to eek out an hour of writing...I'd be most impressed!

Janean said...

yeah, we can ALL relate...especially when we *work* from home. we put in more hours; expect ourselves to keep the house, relationships and job all going full-speed at once. then we beat ourselves up for being disorganized and lazy.

bet hemmingway didn't do laundry or pay a power bill.

Erin said...

That so feels like my day when I have ONE thing to accomplish, I don't get any of it done!!

Coby said...

Someone mentioned that it's easy to get sidetracked when you work from home. I think that's especially true about writing, especially since it's all in your head!

Mopping is tangible. Making food is tangible. Writing...it's in your head, and you have to sit down to get it out!

That's my 2 cents, anyway! Off to mop! ;-)

Okie Book Woman said...

Your post explains why it's taking me YEARS to write my novel. That's one reason I enjoy blogging. At least I'm getting some writing out there that can be read and hopefully enjoyed by my audience. Your blog is certainly well written and better yet, it's full of life. You do not have to be a novelist or short story writer to be a writer. You already are a writer.

angie said...

I loved reading about how you "don't write". I feel like that's all I do, too. Good intentions sprinkled with interruptions. All. Day. Long. :)

Travis Erwin said...

Amen top this post!

Lola Sharp said...

The trick for me is I write on my laptop in bed, in my jammies. Oh, and copious amounts of coffee. After I knock out about a thousand words, THEN I allow myself to go downstairs to do some chores, start dinner, etc.
And back away from the internet.
The internet/blogosphere is the biggest time suck, so I don't allow myself to go online until I hit at least 1,000 words.

I LOVE this post, and think we all relate!

Now I need to go find out wazzup with the Britney!

(and yeah, you knew my truth. you knew with conviction, too!:)

Love,
Lola

gayle said...

Know what you mean!! By the time I work all day and get home from work it doesn't leave me much time. I haven't posted myself in 2 weeks!!

Traci at ThreeDogsAtHome said...

I am not an expert but you did write this fun post at some point in the day. I think that makes you a writer.

Katherine Jenkins said...

Marla, I think you hit the jack pot! This IS your writing! You don't need to craft it to be brilliant, write it like it is! Whatever comes out is the BEST...You did it here! I'd love to see this post reposted on Writers Rising! BRAVO. (By the way, Ernest Hemingway was usually drunk and couldn't have dreamed of getting as much done in his day as you did!)

Mommy Lisa said...

Awesome. Someone once told me I was the modern day Erma Bombeck...

I think YOU are! ;)

Libbie said...

You are too funny! You don't have to wonder what it might be like to be a writer , I think that is exactally what it would be like :) Actually I wonder too. I have lots of Children's books that I have written & I do that exact same thing when I sit down to research how to send them in :)

I have read...THE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ASBOUT GETTING PUBLISHED about 4 times & I still just don't do it! Well :) we have good intentions right? :)

Thanks for putting something in the mail for Annie! You are WAY too sweet! It hasn't arrived yet but I will let you know when it does!

that was a good read :) See you are published! I get to read you way up in Minnesota!