Monday, October 25, 2010

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Please accept my apology for the delay in posting the winner to Butts and Ashes first, and possibly last, GIVEAWAY.  I had a seven day work week last week, a storm blew through Oklahoma, I couldn't do anything with my hair and a million other excuses. Anyway, without further ado, drum roll please. The winner of the CSN $45 gift certificate is....

Congratulations tammigirl! It's not everyday you can tell people a pooping chicken brought you such luck.

To keep this all legal, above board and copastetic, look it up youngsters, here are the pictures of that miserable, I mean, amazing day.

Brian Miller had a great idea to print each entry's Blogger picture to be pooped on. I, of course, thought this was a brilliant idea. I also, of course, waited until the last minute to print said pictures. No ink in the printer. So we did this instead.

Then we taped them all together like this. Classy, huh?

When I opened the front door to head to the barn, this is what I saw.

"A few drops of rain, no worries," thought I.

Seconds later, it turned into this.

There was no way I was running to the barn carrying paper so I loaded up the car with grandkids and dogs and off we went for our long journey to the barn.

I had to drive all the way down the driveway,


turn left at the gate,

finally arriving at the barn. It was harrowing.
After carrying kids, dogs, the pooping papers and moving chickens into the barn, I looked like this

and the grid looked like this.

We finally got the chickens to go to the inside coop so we layed the grid down, ready for the pooping to commence.

As chicken fate would have it,
they all ran to the corners refusing to go anywhere near the terrifying foreign object.

At this point, we realized the gate had not been secured behind us when, before we could say Colonel Sanders, Seamus grabbed a chick and headed out the door. Feeling madder than a wet hen at this point, I grabbed the marauding Seamus, lifted the chick from his drooly grip and proceeded to curse all of you for not stopping me from deciding to have a chicken poop on your name to pick a winner for Butts and Ashes first and probably last GIVEAWAY.

Seamus, the Wicked

Curse, curse, curse, get this dirty straw off my face, curse, look at my hair, curse, curse

Hannah, my three year old granddaughter started throwing chicken feed on the grid, singing "Here chickie, chickie," as I sat on the dirt floor of the coop with my head in my hands wondering if I should just start a new blog under an alias.

Suddenly, there was interest

and eating

and more interest

 with a winner finally chosen.

I have three final things to say.

One, if I EVER get another great idea like this, please, somebody stop me.

Two, did anybody notice there was no longer an attacking rooster in the coop? Can you say, "Chicken dinner?"

Three, Please somebody, anybody, call the fashion police. This woman needs to be arrested. Immediately.


Monkey Man said...

Very scientific.

Brian Miller said... that you took pics of the entire congrats to tammigirl...

Kristen said...

I have to say that I am not that hurt that the chicken didn't poop on me. But this tale made my Monday night! HA HA HA!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Oh my - as much as I think I would have liked to win, I'm really glad that I didn't get er.. sh** on. LOL, don't need any of that. Congrats to Tammigirl!

I have to say that you are one creative individual. hahaha!

Anonymous said...

congrats to the lucky winner. and I think you look great!

J.J. in L.A. said...

The mark of a true blogger is taking pics of chickens pooping, etc., just to give something away. Congrats!

And, hon? No one looks good after getting caught in the rain - that's why I never go out into it. : P

Libbie said...

Now Marla you know I am laughing out loud! I am just so glad no one is home :) Those chickens did a good job in picking Tammigirl! Yay for her, even though they missed me I still enjoyed their, & your, efforts . I am feeling a little bad about the chicken I had for lunch after this. :) Not too bad... but you know :)

Sarah said...

Marla, please go buy some clothes at a 'real' store. You're giving California girls bad name. Oh wait, you've moved to Oki. OK, you're forgiven. :) and congrats tammigirl.

Tammigirl said...

Oh I can't believe I won this! I'm thrilled. If ANYONE should win a pooping chicken luck-of-the-draw giveaway, it's totally me. I mean... it makes sense in my life.

I love you all, I really do, you pooping chickens.

Sorry about the rain, but hey, the story would have been way less awesome if you weren't all wet, right?

Blasé said...

It figures!

Whenever I get pooped on I certainly don't win anything. And when I want to get pooped on so I can win something...well.

Coby said...


Have you ever heard the expression, "I felt so low a chicken could have peed on me?" Don't know why this comes to mind right now...

Pixie said...

Oh my gosh too funny! Thanks for the giggles!

Ms. Anthropy said...

Nobody does it better!

Matty said...

How about that! I get pooped on every day at work. And I can't get a little chicken too as well? LOL

Yes, you need some serious counseling for pulling a stunt like this.

Glen said...

you can't get more fair and accurately reported than that :-) nice boots :-D

TechnoBabe said...

Well, it was a good idea, it was a lot of work though. Your granddaughter saved the day.
Congrats to Tammigirl.

Unknown Mami said...

Congratulations to the winner! Crapastic way to choose a winner.

Mommy Lisa said...


Amarja said...

LOL!! That is sooo funny Marla!

Joanna Jenkins said...

OMG Marla, That is a hoot-- and A LOT of work.
Congratulations to Tammigirl.
xo jj

Anonymous said...

Next time you need poop, just let me know, I got some poop machines in my backyard that would love to poop anywhere you could possibly imagine...and Glory has some BIG poops :)

Silver Strands said...

you are HILARIOUS Marla!
What would the world be like without Butts & Ashes?

Enchanted Oak said...

You are the most dedicated woman I have ever not met. You went above and beyond the call of poopy duty. I really cannot BELIEVE you went on with the challenge on a day like that. I read in the paper yesterday that the Midwest got hit with something like a 100-year storm this week, and I thought of you. And I now discover that THIS is what you were doing while the storm hit. You are either insane or a saint. Your granddaughter is a genius. You need to keep her near you at all times.

Enchanted Oak said...

I made a mistake on my previous comment. I should have said doodie duty.

Anonymous said...

By this picture you wouldn't even know Gracie is a white dog...she looks like a wet rat. Hugs Cher