Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

I just love the news media. They never fail to bring us the latest in truly entertaining need-to-know information. I mean, seriously, my life would not be as full and rich if I had not read about Weed Dating. Single Vermont farmers meet with single females looking for single Vermont farmers and they weed a field together. It’s about bonding, finding your soul mate and getting your crops to market minus any dandelions. Those Vermontians are practical even in matters of the heart. Might explain why they are still single however. Just a thought. Here’s another thought. I just might try weed dating here in Oklahoma. I know I’m married but my flower beds are a shambles. Hey, it could work!







The next necessary to know news is sad, morbid, distressing…well, it’s my kind of story. I know, I need Jesus. Anyway, seems this poor man passed away and his family carried out his final wish to be buried at sea. Now I understand the burial at sea thing. I have been personally involved in such burial at sea fiascos myself. Don’t believe me? Well, read it for yourself! Anyway, we had our loved ones cremated before the actual going overboard. This guys family placed him on a block of dry ice and set him adrift, figuring the ice would melt, he would sink and…the best laid plans of mice and men. Poor guy! It made me rethink my last wishes. I always liked the Eskimos way of sticking their elderly on an ice drift and sending them on their way to eternity so I told my family to stick me on a raft and send me out to the middle of our pond when I got old and senile. The problem is, my version of old and theirs does not seem to match. Dear family, stop inviting me for a boat ride. I’m on to you people!






Finally, there’s this beauty of a news gem. A man in Florida was stopped for speeding, searched because the officer smelled pot and lo and behold, the guy was concealing his stash in his, well, his…lower extremities. Now as if that wasn’t bad enough, the officer did a little further digging, so to speak, and found crack. Yep, the brilliant young man was hiding crack in his crack. And people say the youth of America have no creativity. Of course, the guy had to admit the weed was his but he vehemently denied owning the crack. Of course, this got me to wondering. What things might be hiding in unexplored parts of my own vast wasteland? I believe, some things are better left unanswered.





Oh and by the way…tonight’s the night I lose my braid! The big reveal is tomorrow. You won’t want to miss it because who knows what has been hidden inside that rat’s nest for safe keeping.



14 comments:

Glen said...

OMG I have no idea what could be lurking up mine - but whatever it is id doesn't smell very healthy and really doesn't need to see the light!!

Good luck with the chop

Brian Miller said...

perhaps the guy with weed in his crack read the article and though weed dating was something different...

and watch what you snoke you dont know where it has been...i guess...smiles.

Badger said...

Now there's a policeman who takes his job seriously.

Two Shades of Pink said...

I just made this hideous, cackling sound at the lost dog photo. This post made me laugh from start to finish.

Delirious said...

Yea, it's totally amazing how complete strangers can come up to you and hide something in your crack and you don't even notice!

Prudence said...

I wonder who stuck the crack up his crack without his knowledge??

TechnoBabe said...

Where do you find these unusual photos? You do have a great sense of humor.

Monkey Man said...

My What the Hell Wedesday featured yet another Floridian getting yanked off the road. At least she was hiding anything in her nether regions. Funny stuff, M.

Prairiemaid said...

Great post!

Can't wait for the unveiling.

Blessings,
Cheryl

Joanna Jenkins said...

"....placed him on a block of dry ice and set him adrift..." What were they thinking!??!

And the weed dating. I'm pretty sure I'd never be that desperate. I hate weeding.

This was a very funny post! Thanks,
jj

Marilyn said...

There seems to be endless material you find in the media to laugh at...and you are the person (and Jon Stewart) that seems to just find the right way to make the coffee shoot out of my nose. Guess that means I need Jesus too. By the way, the capcha is boaticer...hmmm.

Blasé said...

I'll miss pulling your pony-tail, or at least thinking about it.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Weed dating.........I suppose it has possibilities. So, the officer found the weed and still kept digging? Just how much stuff will fit in that particular cavity?

Matty said...

Weed dating? And I thought I'd heard everything.

Their idea of old and your idea? Now that's funny!

Bury me under home plate.