Humble Pie and Other Tasty Treats

I am home and yes, it's true, there is truly no place like home. Daughter-in-law Amy and the kids are here, making home even better. We will only be here a very short time though. This coming Wednesday, I will be driving back to Florida with Amy and the babies. John is gone on a training exercise with the Navy, so I am going back to help with the kids until he returns on the 18th or so. God bless these young military wives. I admire them and don't know that I could be as brave and selfless as they are.

So, as you can see, our time together in Oklahoma is going to be fast and furious meaning we have a lot to accomplish in order to keep The List moving along. Amy and I seem to come back to The List in just about every conversation we have. I like that. We are attending a Beth Moore conference today and tomorrow, so Sunday is launch day. We will be driving downtown to a well known homeless hangout. The plan is to take food to pass out and just go with the flow as far as meeting any other needs that we might be able to address. I think I will take along a handful of jackets as the weather has been brutally cold here of late. My stomach is in knots as I think about this face-to-face encounter we are preparing for. I am not scared, I am happy beyond measure that I get to do this. It does make me think about another homeless people experience, however.

The last time I saw a homeless man, dirty and disheveled, my heart went out to him. I was on my way into the convenience store he sat in front of to pay for the gasoline we had just pumped into our car. Once inside, I quickly grabbed a bag and filled it with a sandwich, chips, cookies, milk and a banana. I was so excited that I was going to get to feed this guy…read my previous posts; I have a thing about food and feeding people. Once I paid for my purchases, I went outside and smiling like a weirdo, I am sure; I walked over to Homeless Guy.

“Hi. Are you hungry?”

He looked up at me and glared. Not only did his face look less than inviting but his lack of verbal response would have told any normal person … keyword: normal … to move along. Homeless Guy was obviously not interested in food or conversation. Once again, I held the bag filled with my heart out to the smelly stranger.

“My name’s Marla. I bought this for you. Here you go!”

Homeless Guy looked at me like I was some whacko, crazy do-gooder. Wow, Homeless Guy was no dummy! He reached his filthy right hand out and quickly shoved the bag back at me.

“Eat it yourself!” he growled at me, then stood and walked away.

I was stunned. I was only trying to help. Didn’t he know I cared and I was only thinking of doing something good? I turned and walked back to our car, feeling embarrassed, stupid and a little humiliated.

As I prepare for Sunday, I am remembering Homeless Guy. Why? Because I never want to do something ever again just to make myself feel good. I realize now, that I didn’t respect Homeless Guy as a human being. I didn’t think about him as someone that had feelings and might be embarrassed, feel stupid or even a little humiliated by a whacko, crazy do-gooder trying to feel better about herself. This time, when we go into Homeless Guy’s and Gal’s community, I will remember I am an uninvited guest there. I will remember to wait to be invited in. I will remember that Homeless Guy had feelings.

One last thing. One of my sisters and I are having major communication problems right now. I don’t know how to fix this and I am not even going to try right now for fear of making things worse. One of her concerns, and from what she has told me, other’s concerns as well, is that I am doing things that will place my children and grandchildren in harm’s way. I want to make sure everyone reading this blog understands something. Anyone that would ever, in any way, try to harm one of my own, would find themselves dead before they hit the ground. That’s right, I said dead. I have no problem protecting the mini people God put in my care, the ones I am responsible for. I have never and would never put anyone, especially children, in danger. If you don’t know that, you don’t know me very well.

My sisters have said … once again … that they will never read my blog again. I respect them for showing they have good taste with that decision. On the odd chance that they accidently stumble onto the blog while Googling for strange and bizarre human behavior, I just wanted this disclaimer in writing for the peace of mind of all concerned. I do care what they think, but in their words, I just don’t listen.

So, until Sunday …