Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It Just Keeps Getting Better and Better

Sorry I didn't get the promised update posted yesterday. Seems the hospital had Butts and Ashes blocked as I could not get on no matter how many ways I tried. I actually found this rather amusing. I mean, seriously think about it. This place is brimming to the rim with butts and, well, you get it. I understand I am often found by people searching for pictures of butts. I could verify that for my readers by telling you some of the search phrases used by people. Oh yeah, it's all here on my dashboard. But then you would all be completely disgusted with me instead of the usual tolerably disgusted and I wouldn't want that to happen so let's just say there are some sick minds out there on the web and obviously MDAnderson thought I was one of them so they blocked me. Until today anyway.

So anyway, if you don't mind, I will update you on The List tomorrow because I seriously need to update you on Kelly today. I mean, this is not an opportunity that comes around just any old day and I don't want to miss this chance to make fun of  update the latest on my poor, little, helpless sister. Yeah, that's it.

Ok, so Kelly is no longer considered a candidate for surgery on the cancer that is eating away her vertebrae so dangerously close to her spine. This whole scenario has been quite distressing, of course, to all of us. Then last week, MDAnderson called and informed Kel that she had been selected to participate in a clinical trial. She would be the fourth person to go through this procedure and they felt she should see good results from it. She agreed and so here we are back in Houston.

This time it is just Kelly and me. Why our family would entrust my baby sister into my hands is inconceivable to the sane mind. Like I said in this post:

Let’s think for a moment about all the people who have moved in with me or I moved in with them so I could take care of them:

Aunt Sisi ….dead.

Bob’s mom, Lucy….dead.

Our mom….dead.

Uncle Louie….dead.

Our dad….dead.

Face it. My track record for keeping people alive is nothing to brag about.

Anyway, they still picked me to be her traveling companion/caregiver/hospital jester/slave. I can proudly say, I have not killed her. Yet.

So this morning she went in to be fitted for her full body sling and face mask. No seriously, she really did. She had to wear nothing but a pair of socks, biking shorts and a sports bra. Then they placed her on this special foamy pad thing, molded it to her body, wrapped her in plastic wrap, sucked all the air out of the wrap until she looked like she was shrink-wrapped and that's when the real fun began. They then placed this warm, wet mesh looking thing over her face and upper chest and let it harden until it looked sort of like this.

That's when all the crying and hyperventilating started. They thought it would be better if I waited in the other room at that point since I couldn't stop. I'm kidding. I was just fine. Except for the wanting to drag my baby sister off that contraption, run down the hall screaming and hide her somewhere safe. Other than that, it was all good.

Anyway, an hour later she was all fitted and fine and ready for her actual treatment next week. So, here we are getting ready to head back to the airport to fly to my house for the next week. Did I mention I HATE FLYING??

Oh, one other thing. Her newest doctor, the one over this whole clinical trial thing, is a big, tall, drink of Chemo. No seriously. We thought McDreamy was all that until we met McSteamy.

Dr. Blue Eyed, Six Foot Five, McSteamy

What a great personality. What a good sport when I told him about the blog and McDreamy. What a guy to do a little happy dance when he heard he would now be crowned McSteamy of Butts and Ashes. As long as he didn't kill my sister. She added that part to the deal. He agreed to her terms so it's all good.


Brian Miller said...

nice. so after all is said and done does she get to keep the body mold? you could paint it and sit it in the corner as art to always remember these special moments you share...i knew i should have taken up medicine to get such cool nicknames...smiles.

Delirious said...

One time I had to have a cat scan. I had to lay face down in this mesh thing. Talk about claustrophobia! I can't imagine having to be in a whole suit! Your sister wins the bravery badge from me today!

Katharine said...

Wow, you both deserve medals for the stuff you're wading through these days... Have you tried an ipod with really loud music while flying? I've heard it helps?

Glen said...

McSteamy could almost turn me - almost

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

your sister definitely gets the bravery award from me. they would have had to seriously sedate me to get me near that thing.

love mcsteamy... wowowow!

Monkey Man said...

That's quite a get up. I wish the best for your sis.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You amaze me, Marla. How you could create such enjoyable and steamy posts related to such an ugly disease - you're an angel. Your track record may stink, but I have faith it's going to take a turn for the better.
Hugs to you, Kelly and McSteamy.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I seriously admire the sh!t out of Kelly. I would've been a basketcase if I had to go through that fitting. *shudder*

Kfred said...

Seems the hospital had Butts and Ashes blocked as I could not get on no matter how many ways I tried.

So, are you saying this site is a health hazard?

Libbie said...

YOu girls sure so add fun to the hospital! I bet you are a breath of fresh air to those doctors!

I don't know how Kelly endures all this! She is AMAZING!!! So brave! Such a fighter! My hero! You two are quite the pair :) I love that you 2 have each other to help you through this tough time!

Deborah said...

smooches woman

smooches to Kelly

You guys are the definition of spunky I have to say.

Sarah said...

That mask looks pretty scary to me. You're such a great sister to stand by her all the way. You should keep the mask for the next Halloween.

Auntie Cake said...

Just dropping in to say hello, hoping to brighten your day just a teensy, tiny bit...

Take care, thinking of you, and praying for your sis!

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hi Marla, Just stopped by to see what was rockin your world...back in Houston..You are a trooper and a great sister. I am praying that this new trial will be the answer:)

Matty said...

I've been away for a while and obviously missed an ongoing story. I wish all the best for your sister. Despite your "track record", she's in good hands with you there. You ability to maintain a sense of humor through this is amazing.

Mrs. Tuna said...

You look pretty trustworthy to me, maybe I'll start by letting you watch my goldfish for a weekend and move up from there.

Wishing your sister the best of luck, she'll be amazing.

gayle said...

Marla you have such a knack for telling a story and making it so funny but touching my heart at the same time! Your sister is in good hands!

Not So Simply Single said...

I want to meet that Doctor. Is he single?

Listen Saint Marla, life is going to be okay. Many people get scared and run when others are sick. You show up. You are a saint. I see your halo shine brightly.

I love you....best wishes from Maui!

Love, Lisa

Healthier And Wealthier said...

Oh gosh! What a contraption! Marla, what you don't know about me, among other scary things, is that I was a mathematician in another lifetime. Sooooo I am way into "odds". Since 100% of the folks you have cared for are now 'dead' (your word), the odds are extremely high that will not happen again. I see a WIN in your corner....and your sister'. Hang in.


"Inspiration To Lead Healthier And More Prosperous Lives"