Monday, February 21, 2011

Week Seven of The List, My Sister the Instigator and A CSN Giveaway

On my drive home from work tonight, I had decided to quit blogging, slink off into the real world and pretend I had never started this whole writing thing. Of course, as I was thinking this through, I was writing the blog about it in my head. I fear I am doomed to continue to write the crap that ferments within my brain which means people somewhere are doomed to continue to stumble upon said fermented written crap and read before they realize how deep the fermentation is. For this, I apologize.

The List

7. Volunteer to tutor a kid at your local elementary school.
(Try to get to know the kid’s family.)

Well, I had this one all figured out until tonight. A few weeks back I met a teacher who works in one of the inner-city schools. When I mentioned The List and specifically wanting to find a kid to tutor she was thrilled and said to call her as soon as I was ready. Then tonight when I got home, my 12 year old told me about one of her new friends in the neighborhood who is having a miserable time with life right now. Actually, the entire family is suffering through more than any one family should have to face at one given time. Now I am thinking maybe this is the kid and the family I am meant to reach out to. So, that is the plan this week. I am going to march myself right over there this week, introduce myself with some home baked goods (bribery, I know) and see what happens. Have I ever mentioned that I am an extremely outgoing person on the outside but on the inside I am a constantly, quivering coward who just wants to stay home and hide from hard stuff? There, I said it. Now you know the truth. However, I am also one of the most competitive people I know and failure makes me miserable so in order to not fail at this mission I have undertaken, I will be door knocking later this week. Oy!

Now about my sister, the instigator. Kelly is home resting and feeling better now that she is back in her own bed. I call her just about every night on my way home from work. Most of the time the conversation revolves around the insanity at my workplace. Kel and her husband are franchise owners of the same company I work for only I am in a corporate store. You would think that would automatically mean I am in one of the good stores and it’s a crap shoot with a franchise. I mean seriously, some of those store owners are whackos, I’m sure. (Remember who I said owned a few? hint hint) Anyway, the truth is, the corporate store I am in could seriously be perfect fodder for a reality show about humanity at it’s strangest level. Oh yeah, I know I’m in that mix but still, you wouldn’t believe the half of it. Again, ask me about the cockroach guy. Seriously I dare ya.

As usual, I digress. The short of it is this: there is some drama unfolding in my store right now with me as a key player. Shocking, right? My sister, the instigator, has decided to get involved in a sneaky sisterly, keep your mitts off my sister or I’ll poke your eye out, kind of deal. Oh yeah, this could get interesting. I’m hoping all that blood boiling cures her cancer and we can open our own store together and finally show these people the right way to do things. I mean, Kel might be sick and I might be tired but think about it. Two sick and tired women are a deadly combination not to be taken lightly.

Which brings me to THE CSN GIVEAWAY! CSN is an online store that knows how to roll. From Legos to LCD TV Stands, there is no drama involved in shopping the aisles of CSN’s more than 200 online stores. One lucky Butts and Ashes reader will win a $45 CSN gift certificate. How you ask? Leave a comment telling me the craziest thing you and your sibling, (they can be actual, inherited or chosen), have ever gotten yourselves into. No siblings? You can have mine. You’ll have plenty to write then, I promise. Anyway, my sister the instigator, will then read through them all and pick the one she fancies the most.

Here’s your chance to pretend your me and put it all out there for the world to shake their heads at. Come on and spill the goods. It could earn you $45 to buy a gift to send with that apology letter you‘ll owe your sibling for spilling the beans.

The winner will be chosen next Monday, February 28th. Only US whackos can win. If you are an out of the US whacko, and I am not naming names glen comment anyway. Kelly is easily impressed and could possibly be moved to send you something as well. I’m just saying.


Real Life In A Minute said...

Ok I'm thinking.Oh I know one. I'm using my mom instead. She's 90. She has some sandals just like mine. Matching! Just imagine. Once upon a time I was trying to get mother to be more independent. She was putting on her shoes and she said, "Sandra I can' get my shoes on. Help me!" "Mother! You can get you own shoes on!" She tried and tried. No luck. "I can't believe this", I say. I get down on the floor and try to get mother's foot in the shoe. It won't go. Now I'm really on my last nerve. "You're not helping me!", I say. I shove some more. She pushes. After awhile of this we see what's going on. We are both trying to shove her size 10 foot in my size 6 1/2 shoe. We laughed til we almost wet our pants!

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Bette said...

Many years ago, when my older sister had just gotten her driver's license & I was about 12 yrs. old, we told our mom we were going just a short distance from our home> Knowing this was as far as she would allow us to go alone, it seemed the most likely place that we'd go, except we were going much further! The plan was to venture into the next county to take a friend home. During the trip we ran out of gas & were gone much longer than we should've been. I had a great lie & we went over it several times, deciding that we'd both tell the lie! This was my very first experience with such, so I was way proud of my believable lie. When we finally arrived home my sister went upstairs to 'face the music'. As I was going up to help her out she met me on the stairs, telling me, "I decided to tell the truth. I just can't lie to Mama." I'd never been so crushed. All because we didn't get to test out my story!

Brian Miller said...

you know i am glad you are still here and did not quit...i think we all have those moments...prayers ont eh drama unfolding...

TechnoBabe said...

I too have been contemplating ending the blogging, well, of writing posts, but I still like reading other peoples posts. Maybe I am just more nosy than willing to spill the beans on my own stuff. Unfortunately, I have thought and thought all morning and cannot think of an incident or story about my brother and me. The stories are just too sad. That is another reason I would miss your posts because you show me how is can be in families.

Glen said...

ah - now I totally understand how you are feeling - do what you have to do mate.

Do you know that each and every single point you have mentioned about the list has made me come up with EXACTLY the same response... "SOD THAT!" luckily, not everyone in life is me.

I'm glad you didn't name us non US whackos though - could have been difficult!

hope your Sis is feeling okay - I can't think of anything much - it was all so long ago.. I just remember being made to hide on the top of the stairs because my Mum would send me to my bed but my big Brother (who I shared a room with) wouldn't let me in the room. I was too scared to go back downstairs, because of the beating I'd get later for grassing him up, so I'd just sit on the landing feeling miserable - WHAT A WUSS!

Sarah said...

I keep hearing this CSN store thing. I'm going to check them out soon as I am in need of a TV stand right now. Best of luck to Kelly.

Domestic Diva said...

We drew a mural on our grandparent's brand new hardwood floors with permanent markers. I'm not sure our artistic prowess was completely appreciated (Yes, we thought they would actually be appreciative).

lovelydomesticdiva (at) gmail (dot) com

J.J. in L.A. said...

When I was 15 y.o., my cousin was dying of Leukemia. His sister and I (like sisters) came up with the idea of taking him out of his medicinal environment and letting him enjoy life for one night. But neither of us drove and I had to get my brothers involved.

So there were 3 of my brothers, my foster brother, my cousin, her brother and I all piled into foster brother's VW van. We decided to sneak onto a private beach so we could have the place to ourselves. We found a mobile home community but the entrance had spike strips. After finding some plywood, the brothers draped it across the spikes and we drove in.

We spent HOURS on that beach, enjoying the peace and quiet, telling funny stories and making sure that my Leukemia-ridden cousin had the night of his life. The funniest part was when his sister made out with my foster brother, thinking that no one was watching. But everyone was watching, and no one laughed harder than her brother.

We left (thankful that we didn't get caught trespassing) and got home at 6 am. But we made so much noise that we woke mom up, who hadn't known that we'd snuck out. We told her what we had done and to our amazement she made us breakfast (eggs and pancakes). It was her niece's son and she thought what we'd done was very sweet.

He got very sick within weeks of our outing and died just one month later. He was 17.

Shel said...

I post this knowing full-well I'll probably suffer the wrath of PETA for it....

My sister (who is 4 years younger than I am) and I were often left to our own devices growing up since my mom was divorced and working full-time and going to school. Both of us really wanted a dog but my mother refused and finally compromised and let us get gerbils.

Being little girls (I was 10 and she 6) we were afraid to pick them up with our hands and would often grab them by their tails when we took them out of their aquarium. One day we were playing with them and my sister grabbed one of the gerbils by his tail and said "Hey, watch this" and proceeded to swing Mr. Gerbil around like a lasso by his tail. All of a sudden Mr. Gerbil became a tiny furry missile and shot across the room landing on the wall. I looked at my sister and she had this stricken look on her face and was holding one skinny gerbil tail in her hand.

Both of us were speechless and horrified. I ran and picked up Mr. Gerbil who was quite stunned by the sudden smack into the wall and probably feeling quite a bit of painful remorse at the loss of his tail. We took him in the bathroom and I cleaned his little stub and we used Band-Aids to fix his tail. My sister cried the entire time, these big honking sobs, and I kept telling her "see, he's fine, he'll be okay".

He actually was...of all our gerbils, "Stubby" lived the longest.

My sister and I both work in the same place now...she's a police sergeant and I'm a dispatcher. I'm actually known as the "instigator" at work...they call me "the pot-stirrer" and the "liar" because I often tease my coworkers.

Nicole said...

I'll just send this subliminal message for her to call me....:)