Wednesday, May 12, 2010

You’re Not The Boss Of Me

I spoke with my sister, Kelly, today. She and her best friend Teresa made it safely to Houston last night. Kel’s MRIs, X-rays, blood work and all the rest of the pre-op hoopla began yesterday, as soon as she arrived at MDA. She seems to be in good spirits, though she sounds tired. Not too tired to boss me around however.




I simply stated that I had not purchased a dress, cut my hair, waxed my brows or shaved any necessary areas….legs people! Sheesh!....and she freaked out. It’s not like the wedding is in two weeks. It’s actually seventeen days away. That’s plenty of time to lose forty pounds, grow five inches taller and turn into a blonde. Relax already! Go have your surgery and leave me to my fantasy world, will ya? I’m not the mother of the bride. I’m the mother of the groom. I’ll hardly be noticed. It's not like it's my wedding. Hey! Maybe I could wear one of those cool, yellow, handmade gowns from my wedding.




But noooooo! She called me back to inform me that while she is in surgery Monday, our older sister will be taking me shopping. To buy a dress. And other girl crap. I have ridden this pony before with these two. Charlene is going to get me out there in the land of Big Hair Women and it will be like a bad episode of What Not To Wear. She will have people touching, plucking, primping and praying over parts of me that are best left to jeans, tshirts, flip flops and hairclips. And while she and the glamour gals from stores I am usually not allowed in….no, really, these places have dress codes to keep people like me out….are tittering away about how to stuff my Dolce into a Gabbana, I will be looking for the nearest Starbucks to go with my Cinnabon. There is nothing wrong with the way I look, thank you!




Ok, so that's not really me. It's my daughter-in-law, Amy. Hey, it could have been me. If I was younger....and thinner....and blonde.....and cute.....and...


Anyway, I told Kelly there was no way I was going to go shopping with Char while she was in surgery. I was going to be sitting in the surgical waiting room the entire time….and not because that cute little old man comes by with free coffee and snacks every hour. That is just a coincidence, that I happen to like hourly snacks and coffee and he happens to come by.




So, Miss Kelly tells me, oh yes I am going shopping because she and Char already have it arranged and I am going to do what she says and it is all settled and Blah, freakedy, Blah, Blah…..Blah!


So I responded in my usual mature fashion, “Oh really? Seems to me, you will be in lala land and will have no power over me. What. So. Ever. Ha!”


To which she mentioned something about reading my blog….and commenting….and certain possible folderol from my younger days being released to the masses. I think she was still talking when I hung up.


So, I have come up with a plan of my own. It’s a good one. And it could work. I’ll share it with you…. tomorrow ….

33 comments:

Brian Miller said...

teehee...now can i have a cinnabon and some starbucks please...

oh and have fun shopping...smiles.

Gucci Mama said...

Do you still have those yellow gowns? You should wear it when you visit your sister in the hospital after she gets out of surgery. For no other reason, of course, than it's simply stunning.

;)

Marla said...

Brian Miller! You are NOT taking their side. :-)

Gucci ~ Oh, it's stunning alright. Like a stun gun in the eye stunning.

Ms. Anthropy said...

I'd rather take a beating than have to shop for something important for myself. I'd have an anxiety attack, just thinking about it. Take me out of my jeans and sneakers and put me in panty hose and a fancy dress and all the underpinnings and I'm totally out of my comfort zone. Good luck! (and I'm even too cheap for Starbucks)

How did you fare with the latest round of tornadoes? My nephew is living up there and said it shook his parking lot at work. Not sure about any damage.

Enchanted Oak said...

Hmm. Maybe give Char your size and your list of don'ts, and send her shopping while you wait, comfortably snacking and sipping. Claim your boundaries, girl.

Parsley said...

The way I look at it Marla, shopping in a daze is just a money pit. I'm on your side. haha You'll be in a daze and buying everything or nothing. Let me know how that size 3 mini skirt fits...

Coby said...

Sorry Marla, I'm on Kelly's side. ;-) As the one actually having surgery and not getting to sip coffee and enjoy snacks...she wins. Just like the irritating little sister always does. ;-)

Deborah said...

Oh woman! I love you so.

I love dressing up.

I hate dressing up.

The end.

TechnoBabe said...

She got you. She can spill the beans after her surgery and we will all know the stuff you have been keeping from us. Ha.

Mama Zen said...

You are hilarious! I'm going to be laughing about stuffing your dolce into a gabbana all day!

Sarah said...

go shopping and have some fun. you're beautiful in your own way and i mean it.

Monkey Man said...

A cliff hanger in the world of weddingate. I'm sucked in.

In the meantime, I hope your sister's surgery goes well.

hip hip gin gin said...

Oh my word, this is too funny!! Stuffing your "Dolce into a Gabbana" made me snort laugh!! Luckily I'm home alone so no one is the wiser.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I suspect, one way or another, you ARE going shopping and getting all dolled up for your son's wedding-- and on his wedding day, you'll be very happy you did-- so will he and your bossy sisters :-)

Can't wait to hear the plan.
jj

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

We'll have something in common on Monday morning... I'll be sitting in a hospital waiting room, too. Ron is having foot surgery.

I think the yellow gowns would be great as a MOTG dress. I know my daughter would kill me if I showed up in something like that at her wedding, but my son would not. LOL - his wife's family might just wonder about my sanity but hey.... by the time they figure it out, it would be too late.

17 days? You have plenty of time! Make your hair appointment for the morning of, get your toes and your nails done the day before, and then just chill.

Right??? right...

Okie Book Woman said...

I LOVE your wedding picture. It certainly brings back memories of my 1967 wedding. You and I think alike, Marla. My bridesmaids also wore yellow homemade dresses and we carried daisies. It was a very cheap wedding, but the marriage has lasted 43 years so far!

Unknown Mami said...

Do what your sister says!

Leslie said...

I have to just say I am in awe of you for how you live your life. (I just read quite a bit of your blog) I feel inspired. Thank you. My prayers will include your sister and your whole family during this important surgery.

ModernMom said...

Awe..I just think she needs something a wee bit more positive to think about, and your it hon!

Cheeseboy said...

You are very funny. The old man with the coffee sounds awesome. I don't blame you for wanting to see him.

Marla said...

Teresa ~ I will be praying for you and Ron on Monday. Hang in there sister. I know you have had a rough road. Being the caregiver is never easy but always worth it.

Okie ~ 43 years! Now that is something to sing about!

Mami ~ Yes, maam.....I mean, yes Mami!

Leslie ~ Thank you. You are too kind.

I'm Erin. said...

Been reading through your blog a bit-- you're crazy funny.
With an emphasis on the crazy.

;)

God Bless your sister-- what a fighter! I hope the surgery went well.

Silver Strands said...

You are making me LAUGH. Again. Marla, go shopping, just so I can read another incredible post - I know it will be great fodder.
xoxoxox
Denalee

Tgoette said...

LOL! Kel is overbearing and manipulative...but you have to admire her style!

Oh, and when you and Char go shopping together, make sure to get some nice accessories too!

Lorenza said...

Your sister has a strong driving energy! She is bossy but it is a good sign of being attached to life! Wow... I would be sitting in the hospital hall like you want to do...
XXX

aLmYbNeNr said...

I have an award for you! http://almybnenr.tumblr.com/#606857616

I hope all is going well with Kelly today!

Libbie said...

Oh Marla yo uare too fun to read!

yOU looked gorgeous on your wedding day!!! :) Fun to see that pic!

I am so glad it is possible to lose 40 in 17 days. I think I will too :)

I hope you had shopping success & even more I hope that Kelly is feeling better & can start bossing you around again. hey if I can't...she might as well have some fun :)

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

praying for your sister and all today. i'm sure you will, but be sure to post as soon as you find out anything.

ron's surgery went very well; they were able to do it as outpatient and sent him home. the dressing changes are going to be a bugger but i'm not surprised they didn't want to keep him. they think i don't have anything better to do than sit around and change pressure banadages very frequently.

Amarja said...

Hey Marla just go and get a dress all ready (you would tell me the excact same thing :) ) Wish I could be there with you guys end of this month. I hope the surgery will go good. Hold on, love you!

Mommy Lisa said...

Go shopping and just buy the first dress they toss on your Gabanna and go back. :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Shopping for clothes isn't so bad, if you treat it like a band-aid. Just rip it right off really quick. By the time the pain hits you, you're done.

Glen said...

Any excuse to be visited by a man with snacks seems reasonable to me. :-)

Lily Robinson said...

I don't have any sisters. Can I join your clan?