Sunday, February 21, 2010

I Miss You, Smelly Old Guy

I miss the way you always wanted a fire in the fireplace,
even if it was 75 degrees outside

I miss the way Corina loved you and you loved her
 ever since she was brand new and you weren't

I miss you giving rides on your walker to your great-grandchildren
and then telling them they owed you a dollar for cab fare

 I miss camping with you and hearing you say how much you loved it
and how you'd like to live there in the mountains

I miss your stories of being a prize fighter
and your doofus faces

I miss you picking fights with me on purpose
just to show me you were still the boss of me

I miss you embarrassing me in public places like restaurants
 with your impromptu speeches and sombreros

I miss you getting lost in the neighborhood
while trying to run away from home on your scooter

I miss dancing in the driveway with you in the summertime

I miss Christmas with you

We miss you

and I am really, really mad at you for leaving us. I am mad at you for leaving me. I am mad. Today. Maybe tomorrow too. No promises. But I still miss you, you old goat. And I wonder how I am ever going to get past missing you.


Ms. Anthropy said...

Nobody could have ever prepared me for the pain I would experience, being an orphan.

Marla said...

Ms. Anthropy ~ Even at 51, it sucks

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Awww. I know the feeling all too well. :(

Sorry for your loss.

tattytiara said...

You paint a beautiful and very colorful picture of someone it sounds like you were very blessed to have in your life.

Ely Biado said...

Ecclesiastes 9:5 For the living know that they will die; But the dead know nothing, And they have no more reward, For the memory of them is forgotten.

The dead don't have a day and visiting them to show your love and compassion is something the dead will never know.

Ecclesiastes 9:6 Also their love, their hatred, and their envy have now perished; Nevermore will they have a share In anything done under the sun.

But the memories are not forgotten.

SquirrelQueen said...

I'm very familiar with those feelings. Sorry to hear about your loss. Your post is a lovely tribute.

Julie said...

A grand tribute to your father. i dont see any real need to get over missing him. My father is still with me, but when when necessary I still talk to my grandmother. I see her and I hear her. I always will.

Lovely post ...

marcime said...

your father sounds like a hoot! what wonderful memories you have - still hurts, especially a lovely being such as him - sorry for your loss.

TechnoBabe said...

To have someone in your life to love for so long and now to have these memories and so many more, you are fortunate, oh so blessed.

Brian Miller said...

a great tirbute to someone that obviously meant so much...T lost her mom about 2 years ago. she was just down this weekend checking on her dad. it is definitely hard, na matter your age...

Nicole said...

Loved these pictures!!! Thank you for sharing them!

Oklahoma Granny said...

What a lovely, tear-producing tribute.

Blessings to you this day.

Amy said...

I started keeping a death journal when my mom died...I know, I'm morbid, get over it...

I thought this was beautiful:
"When I come to the end of the road, and the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too long, and not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love we once shared, miss me, but let me go.

For this journey we all must take, and each must go alone;
It's all part of the Master's plan,
a step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart, go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrow in doing good deeds, miss me, but let me go."

I love you!

Monkey Man said...

What a great living memory you have here. He would be proud. I miss my dad too....12 years later. My mom is now getting up there and I know I will be faced with being an orphan as well.

Sarah said...

sounds like a guy full of personalities and spunk. it was beautifully presented--thanks.

Lily Robinson said...

I don't think it ever stops when you love someone.

I will embarrass you in a restaurant anytime you need me to...

angie said... sad. I'm sorry!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Auntie Cake said...

What a sweet tribute. I love all his goofy pictures, you painted a wonderful picture of his rich and full life. There never is a good time to lose someone you love though, sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man, and had to have been to have raised such a caring, giving daughter.

I always used to call my grandpa an old goat. He just laughed and laughed at me.

Take care, you will be in my thoughts and prayers,

kbxmas said...

Beautiful! I didn't know him but I think I miss him too now.

MindyBB said...

I bet you do miss him and all those napkins and him feeding Ruby his food when you weren't watching or in the room... You have some great memories to last forever! I'll come spit on you if you want me to and throw pee at the intruder but I can't beat him up like your Dad! I know you miss him dearly he's your Dad forever! love you dearly ;-)

MindyBB said...
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Jeanine DeNitto said...

I know that I will, never, either, get passed missing my dad. It has just become part of the everyday.

Very nice tribute.

honeypiehorse said...

That is lovely. I'm sorry for your loss.

UberGrumpy said...

Made me cry again, dammit.

Your Dad, right? I lost mine when he was 51 and I was 25. I have the same kind of memories.

Beautiful post

Eva Gallant said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. That was a lovely post.

Thank you for visiting my blog on my SITS day. Come back soon.

Nancy C said...

I love the pictures here. What a beautiful spirit.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You never actually get past it. It's more like a huge pain, that over time, doesn't sting as much.
Sending you a great big virtual hug.

LL Cool Joe said...

I popped over from Mama Zen's blog and just read this and saw all the wonderful photos and just had to leave a comment.

What a lovely post. Sorry for your loss.

Diane said...

I'm thinking we might be sisters.

Theresa Milstein said...

What a sweet tribute. I have a great sense of who he was from what you wrote and your pictures. I'm sorry for your loss.

gayle said...

I know how you feel! The pain is so very hard!! Take care of you!

Erin said...

OMG that made me cry....made me miss him for you!!

I only wish my own father lived that long!!

I love the $1 cab fare!

Unknown Mami said...

I'm sorry.

You've got me crying and missing him and I didn't even known him.

Gucci Mama said...

Such a sweet tribute. I'm sorry for your loss.

Two Shades of Pink said...

Your way with words astounds me. Beautiful post yet I am so, so sorry that you have such an emotional roller coaster to contend with. To encourage you, know that the ability to identify and be transparent about all those feelings makes for healthy grieving. No matter how long it takes. Every time I read a post from you I want to hop on a plane, come to your house, sit in your kitchen and talk for hours. Marla, you are wonderful for me and I come away blessed by you always.

Anonymous said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. It is so touching. Thanks for sharing!

Lorenza said...

Your feelings just touch my heart and rekindle how much I miss my father too. But a loss is not forever...

Love & Rainbow

Auntie Cake said...

Hi Marla,
I was just thinking about you and stopped by to tell you so. I know you are still missing the "old goat" and will be for quite some time. I looked through your pictures of him again, and they just told a wonderful story of his life and the kind of person he was. Take care, thinking of you! (It's kind of weird,) but I wish I could have met him, he sounds like a man who made the most out of his life! Not to mention had a wonderful sense of humor!!!

Lola Sharp said...

I misted up reading this.
A moving and perfect tribute.
What a personality he had!

I never had a father.
I wish I had one like yours.
I'm glad you did, and you appreciate him.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Big hugs,

Mama Zen said...

This is a beautiful tribute. And, I'm glad that you have such wonderful memories.

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage and Junkologie said...

Oh, Marla. You've captured the essence of this man who obviously was very special to you. He is lucky to have had you as a daughter. Prayers and hugs to you.


Matty said...

This is my first visit here, and I'm assuming this is dad. I'm so sorry for your loss. From the pictures and descriptions, it sounds like he enjoyed his family and life, and had a great sense of humor.

Kimberly said...

that was lovely! some great pictures! I am sorry your missing your Dad - you always will!

Okie Book Woman said...

Marla, my dad died 29 years ago, and I still miss him. But mostly now I'm able to think of him with such affection and gratitude. I would have loved to have had him in my life for many more years, but I'm so grateful I had him for as long as I did. His spirit definitely lives on as part of me. May God bless you at this time. Thanks for sharing your memories of him.

Marla said...

Monique ~ I'm sorry you know it too

tattytiara ~ Very blessed, indeed

Ely ~ Thanks for stopping by

Judy ~ Thank you

Julie ~ Good point

marcime ~ He was one of the funniest people I ever knew

TechnoBabe ~ So true

Brian Miller ~ You're right. Please tell T I am thinking of her.

Nicole ~ My pleasure. Heard your visit was awesome!

Ok Granny ~ Thank you, friend

Marla said...

Amy Brady Hansen ~ There is not one single morbid thing about that. It is a lovely tribute to your beautiful mother. I cannot begin to tell you how much I will always love Ellen Brady for raising such a fine daughter as you. I could not have asked for a better wife for John and mother for my grandchildren. I love you, Amy. I truly love you!

Marla said...

MM ~ Oh, I hate that. I really hate that.

Sarah ~Spunk should have been his middle name. Either that or punk. :-)

Lily ~ You are on, girlfriend!

angie ~ yeah, me too

Eyegirl ~ Thank you

Kate ~ Thank you. Yes, endearments in our family tend to lean to the insulting side for normal people. :-)

kbxmas ~ He had that effect on people. :-)

Mindy ~ OMG!! I forgot about the pee incident. WooHoo!! ROFL!!!

Jeanine ~ Yes, I think it is about learning to live with it, right?

honeypiehorse ~ Thank you

UG ~ Yep, my dad. How sad to hear you lost your dad so young. Makes me feel very fortunate indeed.

Eva ~ I surely will

Nancy & JJ ~ Thank you both so much

LL Cool ~ Thanks so much for coming by

Diane ~ Could be! I am a Republican though. Would that make me your evil twin?? :-)

Theresa ~ Thank you and thanks for stopping by

gayle ~ I will

Erin & Mami ~ You gals would have loved him. He was wicked funny!

Gucci ~ Thank you

Two Shades ~ My door is always open for you, little sister. I have a serious notion we would be dangerous together. I like it!

Anonymous ~ Thank you

Lorenza ~ I so agree. This is but for a season.

Kate ~ Thank you so much. Your kindness and caring have truly touched my heart. I appreciate you.

Lola ~ I had more than I deserved, that is for sure

Kelli & Amy ~ Thank you both

Matty ~ Yes, my dad. Thank you so much for stopping by.

Kimberly ~ Yes, I believe I will

Ok Book Woman ~ I am so thankful for the 89 years he had. It never seems enough somehow.