Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

I just love the news media. They never fail to bring us the latest in truly entertaining need-to-know information. I mean, seriously, my life would not be as full and rich if I had not read about Weed Dating. Single Vermont farmers meet with single females looking for single Vermont farmers and they weed a field together. It’s about bonding, finding your soul mate and getting your crops to market minus any dandelions. Those Vermontians are practical even in matters of the heart. Might explain why they are still single however. Just a thought. Here’s another thought. I just might try weed dating here in Oklahoma. I know I’m married but my flower beds are a shambles. Hey, it could work!

The next necessary to know news is sad, morbid, distressing…well, it’s my kind of story. I know, I need Jesus. Anyway, seems this poor man passed away and his family carried out his final wish to be buried at sea. Now I understand the burial at sea thing. I have been personally involved in such burial at sea fiascos myself. Don’t believe me? Well, read it for yourself! Anyway, we had our loved ones cremated before the actual going overboard. This guys family placed him on a block of dry ice and set him adrift, figuring the ice would melt, he would sink and…the best laid plans of mice and men. Poor guy! It made me rethink my last wishes. I always liked the Eskimos way of sticking their elderly on an ice drift and sending them on their way to eternity so I told my family to stick me on a raft and send me out to the middle of our pond when I got old and senile. The problem is, my version of old and theirs does not seem to match. Dear family, stop inviting me for a boat ride. I’m on to you people!

Finally, there’s this beauty of a news gem. A man in Florida was stopped for speeding, searched because the officer smelled pot and lo and behold, the guy was concealing his stash in his, well, his…lower extremities. Now as if that wasn’t bad enough, the officer did a little further digging, so to speak, and found crack. Yep, the brilliant young man was hiding crack in his crack. And people say the youth of America have no creativity. Of course, the guy had to admit the weed was his but he vehemently denied owning the crack. Of course, this got me to wondering. What things might be hiding in unexplored parts of my own vast wasteland? I believe, some things are better left unanswered.

Oh and by the way…tonight’s the night I lose my braid! The big reveal is tomorrow. You won’t want to miss it because who knows what has been hidden inside that rat’s nest for safe keeping.