Shake, Rattle and Roll

So, I was sitting here writing this post when all of a sudden I felt a jolt. I thought it was my muse for a second until I realized the earth was actually moving. That’s right, we had a 4.5 earthquake here in Oklahoma and for the first time in 16 years of living here, I can say, I felt this one from my head to my toes to my rapidly thumping heart. Being a Californian, the little nothing quakes we have here go by unnoticed by me. Not this one. I heard the deep rumble and thought, “No way”, then it hit and seemed to go on for quite a few long, drawn out seconds. Not being a big fan of earthquakes, I am seriously hoping that is the last one I experience for at least another 16 years.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.


Butts and Ashes is having a GIVEAWAY and you can enter. Yes, you. All you have to do is play Truth or Dare with me. How easy is that? So what are you waiting for? Get over here and enter!


I'll be answering your questions and dares every day so without further ado, here are the next three I randomly chose.

JJ In L.A. wants to know:

Did you ever have "the (sex) talk" with your kids and, if so, how horrified were they?

Well, JJ, as a matter of fact we did, with all seven of them. The thing about The Talk, as we call it, is this: It’s not a one time deal. It’s more of an ongoing, teach them the truth when they are young, annoy the snot out of them when they are a bit older, embarrass them to death when they are adults, kind of thing. As soon as the kids started to ask questions, we gave them honest answers. We kept the answers brief and to the point because, well, they were young and on a need to know basis. Then, as young teens, we had an actual sit down, face to face, here’s the rest of the story, fill in the blanks kind of meeting. It usually involved a lot of eye rolling, head shaking, staring at the ceiling kind of stuff. Now, as adults, it’s more about grossing them out.


For instance, when I go on a girls night out with all my girls, they find it perfectly normal to talk about their husbands in a bit of an intimate way. Nothing inappropriate, mind you, just huggy bear kissy face kind of stuff. But let me say just one little thing like, “I know what you mean,. And the older they get the worse it gets with the huggy bear, kissy face kind of stuff,” and they all give me a look of complete horror followed by moaning, wailing and gnashing of teeth. You would think they would be happy to know their parents are still in love and interested in huggy bear, kissy face. Did I mention my kids read this? Did I mention we still huggy bear, kissy face on a regular basis. Are those teeth I hear gnashing? My job here is finished.


Tammigirl asked:

Do you have a favorite child today?

Yes, Tammi, I do. I have always said this phrase to my kids and grandkids, “You are my favorite (insert name) in the entire world.” I can say that to each of them and mean it with all my heart because there is not another one by their name like them. They truly are my favorite by that name and that’s the truth. In all fairness however, I do prefer my chickens to all children some days. I’m just saying…

Monkey Man being a Monkey and a Man queried this jewel of a query:

If you could do one immoral or illegal deed and get away with it, what would that deed be?

Easy question, Monkey Man. I would be Cat Ballou and set all things right in the world using my six-shooter hanging from my hip holster. Think I’m kidding? Well, I’m not. When the bad guys, even the ones posing as good guys, are in the midst of doing their bad guy deeds, I’d ride in on my steed and send them straight to Boot Hill. It makes me crazy when bad guys are caught red-handed and then go through our criminal system for years only to get out and do the same things again and again. Hang em high!


Ok, maybe this is a totally unloving approach but it’s not my fault. I grew up on a diet of John Wayne with heavy side orders of Bonanza, Gunsmoke and The Rifleman. Blame my dad for my Wild West Justice approach to life. Now, if I could only look like Cat Ballou.