Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Conversations From Cell Block C

So guess where I am? Seriously, go ahead and guess. If you said prison, you wouldn’t be too far off. I am back in Houston at MDAnderson with the two wicked step-sisters. You would think they would be so thankful at my willingness to give up all my vacation time for them. Then there is the eight hour drive south not to mention dealing with the maniac drivers trying to kill me because 80 mph is obviously not fast enough in the middle lane. I suppose there is no better way to show you their extent of gratefulness than to post actual conversations from Cell Block C.

Kelly, sobbing pitifully this morning as Char and I were helping her out of the shower, drying her off, getting her into her wheelchair:

“I….(sob, sob)…..I bet you two never thought you would have to do this for me…..(sob, sob, sob)”

“Well, I always figured I would be doing this…..for Char…..in the very near future, considering her age and all.”


This seems to be Char’s new go-to word. Idiot. How original, I mean, for an old person and all.

Then there was last night when Kelly started sobbing, hoping to die in bed in the arms of her beloved. I asked if her husband David knew about being replaced by someone named beloved. I was called names and on and on followed by this little gem:

“Well, Kel, I understand even if our idiot sister doesn’t. I want to die in my sleep”, says Char in her best all-knowing, I am the oldest sister sort of way.

So, says I, “I can respect you wanting to die in your sleep. I’d be happy to make that happen for you both later this evening.”

I cannot repeat the new name Char came up with to replace idiot. I will say this; who knew the old bat could be so linguistically creative.

Of course, we always have to have the hair and makeup conversations when we are together too.

“Hey you guys, will one of you please trim my hair?”

“Trim your hair? What’s wrong with your hair?”

“I just got it cut and she did a really bad job. I need you or Char to fix it, ok?”

At this point, the two princess imposters are looking over my hair and decide it looks fine.

“Listen you two, have you ever known me to care a lick about how my hair looks. If I say it’s bad, I mean….”

“Char, she has a point. We must just be use to that look on her. Get the scissors.”

Anyway, that’s about all there is until later. Kelly is going through poking, prodding, CT Scans and MRIs. We have seen the internal medicine doctor already and will finish up on Thursday with the Oncologists and Surgeons. Kel is hoping for surgery to get the baseball size tumor protruding from the back of her head whacked off. I am hoping for a better haircut before then.

Love hopes all things.


Brian Miller said...

i was already strting a funding drive for bail money...so gla di read on...smiles....sounds like you are having the most fun you can in present circumstances...humor is good...smiles...

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

i'm with brian - thought we were going to have to bail you out...

glad you are able to enjoy the little things in spite of the circumstances. i'm sure many people (including me) could learn from you.

Ms. A said...

Hey, I could use a haircut! When can you schedule me?

Nicole said...

So glad that you are there with her. And SO glad to have you post again. I've missed your sense of humor. Love to all the Casas sisters! xoxox

Diane said...

I've come back to Blogland after a long time away, and am slowly making my way 'round to my old favorites. I don't mean 'old' as in... well... you know what I mean :).

Speaking as someone who just got an horrific haircut, I hope yours grows out fast. And I hope your sister gets well SOON!!!

Coby said...

Goodness, I love your humor! It's a wonderful thing to have.

Glen said...

I've always said that the way I want to go is tied up in a hotel room's wardrobe wearing PVC panties. So If you ever discover anything like that on your travels, think to yourself - "It's what he would have wanted..."

Good luck with the hair -- oh, and everything else :-)

Ioana-Carmen said...

Chic baby! would you like to follow each other blog? :X


Mrs. Tuna said...

I hear you have to eat green bologna in jail. And sleep in tent city. Oh wait, that's here in Arizona.

Ganesh Chella said...

Thanks for the information... I really love your blog posts... specially those on Helping Organisations

Sarah said...

I bet Kel has a better chance having the tumor removed than you getting a good haircut.

Just messing with you.

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