So, I stopped on by to check my email only to find a bazillion emails from people worried about my mental state. Seriously, now you worry? If you have ever read this blog in the past you would have surely realized that crazy runs all through these veins of mine. What I’m trying to say is, thank you and I’m fine. No need to worry about me. Feel sorry for my sister, my friends, that poor guy that’s married to me. As for me, I am fine and dandy and moving along. My last post was nothing more than a momentary mental meltdown that I had to expunge from my head before exploding. Seriously. Life is good even when it’s not.
I noticed something interesting. People felt really bad for me or they kicked me in the ass. Which do you think made me feel all warm and fuzzy the most? Now, I am not saying kind words fell on deaf ears. I truly and sincerely appreciated every one of them. They made me cry because people care and that’s always a good thing. It’s just that I am ashamed I made people feel bad for me. Like I said, feel bad for the people I love that are truly suffering. They deserve all the love, prayers and compassion this world has to offer. I deserve a straightjacket. Just ask my sisters.
I started to wonder, why is it that kind words shame me and kick in the ass words comfort me? The answer was easy to find. My mother. My mother was a kick you in the ass person. It was how you knew she loved you. She was the first one to tell you the truth you didn’t want to hear.
“Have you gained weight?”
“Those people are not your friends.”
“Is that a pimple on your nose?”
“You are too big to wear that outfit.”
“You can be very funny when you’re not being ridiculous.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can be such a martyr.”
Yeah, my mom had the gift of encouragement. Even so, the stinking truth is, she was always right. I hated that about her when she was breathing. I miss her desperately now that she‘s not.
Anyway, I am still working way too much but I do have a plan to make some changes. Ok, I am planning on a plan to make some changes. Hey, we martyrs have to take things slowly. It’s how we roll.
23 comments:
Glad to hear from you, hope all is well.
nice...hope you make those changes...as selfishly i like seeing you around more than once a month or so...smiles.
I just love you. And your mom too.:)
I think my kids think the same thing about me, that you thought about your Mom. I don't think they'll appreciate me, until I'm dead. However, I do plan to haunt them!
Great to see you!!!
Why am I not surprised? Oh, that's right...you're a smart@$$.
Said lovingly, of course. : )
Life is good even when it’s not.
These seemingly simple words need to be emblazoned on something. My coffee mug, a hat, the bumper of my car, somewhere. Because, they're true!
I forget all the time.
smooches woman
btw - I do believe we had the same momma. I miss my momma's critical-arse all the time.
meh - take it slow - sanity is overrated, compliments are always easier to give than to take..
stay cool :-) x
Hmm...that explained a lot, didn't it? Seriously though, good to see you're back!
I'm with Glen.... And I'm really glad to see you back.
jj
You sound great to me. Normal and sane are so overrated.
What is the plan to plan? Can I help?
Even after all these years since I have seen your mom, I can picture her saying those things. LOL
I'm much more of a sympathy vs kick-ya-in-the-ass kinda gal (unless you are family, in which case, guard that butt big-time). So I'll just say, with apologies, I love ya =) and am glad you're back.
xoRobyn
Well, I went from caregiver to pariah in my crazy family saga, so I can relate to you. Can't blog about it, but I can tell you: My brother hates me now for no discernable reason. Distance from him since the tragedy of his Alzheimer's diagnosis this spring has broken my heart, but on the other hand, maybe the good Lord thinks I've had enough of Alzheimer's thanks to Mom, and I'm getting a break. Anyway, I've cried my tears and gone on living. Such a shock. I thought the pain would kill me for a while there. So my journey goes on, and laughter returned, and who knows how any of us survive sometimes. On a wing and prayer. I send love and hugs from your old stomping grounds.
Good to hear from you. I hope you are able to write more soon. I miss your blog posts.
I'm a sympathy giving kinda gal, but, since you went there...go strip me a branch and bend over...you'll be begging me for sympathy! ;-)
Love you and miss you, Marla!
Weren't you just upset because you were unmasked as the woman from Oklahoma who thought she was related to DB Cooper?
I will never forget a Christmas party at your parents house and I got ready there after setting things up with Kelly. We came downstairs and I asked your mom how I looked. She told me to change my lipstick, it was bad. I laughed so hard. Then Kelly asked her how she looked and she told her the outfit she had on made her butt look big. Hee hee! I gleaned alot of my honesty with my own kids from watching your mom in action.
Those moms....always know us best.
Oh good, we come by it honestly...and ya think my kids will someday appreciate it...yep after I am 6 ft. under....Gotta say there is nothing like a family that will tell you "You look like the cat dragged you in" ...Love ya Cuz...Cher
I haven't been around much this summer! Glad your good!
Just thinking about you and all the things in your life. Sending much love.
Just wanted to say hi & let you know I think of you & that HUGE heart of your often!!! Sending Love!!!
Moms always know how to hit the right buttons. I am sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing mother.
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