Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Stuck Like Glue

My husband Bob is a butthead. Oh yeah, he is. I know I am always writing things on this blog about how wonderful he is and how much I love him and can’t live without him. How he makes my stomach do twirly whirlies just by looking at me and how he makes me want to kiss him and stuff when he sings to me. Yeah, I know I wrote all that stuff but he is still a butthead.


Don't let the smile fool you. The big guy is a butthead.

Bob has this absolutely annoying, drive me crazy not in a good way thing he does. He acts old sometimes. Like an old, grouchy, get off my lawn or I’ll call the coppers, old guy. I have no clue where he gets this stupid idea that he is old but it drives me insane.


"...and STAY off my lawn!"

We have always had a really fun relationship. We act crazy and laugh and go out of our way to do really embarrassing things together in order to humiliate our children. We are an awesome team like Laurel and Hardy. Yogi and Boo Boo. Ricky and Lucy. Bonnie and Clyde. We are lethally fun and funny together.




Well, we used to be until Laurel/Yogi/Ricky/Clyde decided he was old. Now it is simply too much for him to stay up past nine, meet new people, play a full game of cards at Starbucks. I mean, he might miss his next dose of Geritol. What if he needs to pee and has to be cathed? Seriously, the poor guy is on the edge of sixty.




So, a few days ago he had one of his, “I’m so old, I simply can’t go out and have a good time because I may miss an episode of Matlock” moments. To say it was the last straw for me would be an understatement. I did my best to make a few things very clear to the old geezer.

I will never have sex with an old man.




I will go out and have fun without you because I am young. Then you will have to sit at home watching Matlock wondering what embarrassing things I am doing while wearing your last name.




 
I will never have sex with an old man.




Your children, grandchildren and all children of the world will remember you as THAT GUY on the street. Is that how you want to be remembered since you are so old and close to kicking the bucket?




I will never have sex with an old man.



 
Anyway, the last few days have been a bit chilly here and I am not talking about the weather. Then today, just when I was thinking that single life wouldn’t be so bad, I found this comment on my blog:



Bob said...

Marla Ann,
I am truly humbled to be your man...Bob

November 9, 2010 9:58 AM



Damn old men!


26 comments:

Blasé said...

Bob deserves a freakin' medal

Unknown Mami said...

You are a butthead lover.

Marla said...

Blase ~ Yes he does.

Mami ~ Yes I am.

Mommy Lisa said...

- Ha ha ha. You are a Butthead Lover, that is good Mami.

Marla - tell that old guy that my dad is pushin' 70 and he walks 3-5 miles a day and takes his grandkids to the zoo- plays - the park by himself, AS WELL AS taking my mom out to dinner, dances and to quilt shows, etc. etc. etc. (I know "quilt shows" but my MOM is an AWESOME quilter and very active in her quilt club. look out for those ladies when they take ROAD TRIPS to quilt shops all over Minnesota!)

Glen said...

Maybe it's time to start having sex with old men :-)

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Brian Miller said...

well i guess there is no doubt about what you will be doing tonight... : 0

Parsley said...

Beavis and Butthead...sorry but when you mentioned all those pairs and then called him that...I just cracked up!

TechnoBabe said...

You snapped him out of it without having to pour a bucket of ice water over him. My hubby just turned 61 and I will be 65 in Feb. Age is just some numbers. Your Bob forgot that momentarily.

Diane said...

Aw! I LOVE that!

And I don't blame you. I wouldn't have sex with an old man either ;)

Kristen said...

I love this post and talk about similarities, I JUST got done making fun of my hubby for his bad habit of saying: "Huh and cupping his ear, while tilting his head, as though he is deaf and OLD." I'll try the the Sex for no Old men route next time! Loved it!

Coby said...

I bet it just got warmer in your house after Bob's comment.

wintergurl said...

wonderful couple
GOD bless this relationship

Matty said...

THAT is all the incentive a man needs not to act like an old man.

Love the video.

Anna said...

I'm laughing and crying. :) That is just too funny...you guys are great!

Deborah said...

Bob is so adorable.

My girlfriend told me a story about when she turned 40.

She was lamenting that no one was going to find her hot anymore. How her hot life was over.

Her husband turned, looked at her adorableness, and said, "Honey, I'm sure old men will still find you hot."

Ha!

Dawn said...

Oh, how I love this post on so many levels. You are so funny and creative.

And, I absolutely adore that picture of the two of you.

Sarah said...

I guess he finally got the hint after you repeated three times. :)

gayle said...

Bob sounds like a great guy!

Michelle said...

My kids tell me "old people sex" is gross. I wouldn't know. Yet.

dbs said...

Comedian Martin Short said this recently about aging, "The only time I don't have to pee is when I'm peeing!"
To Bob: "Just give in Bob. You know you'll have to anyway."

Mrs4444 said...

Brilliance. Pure brilliance. I love it! And now that you mention it, old men are not in my plans, either, haha. EWWWWW

Emily said...

Not to bring anyone down but are you sure Bob isn't depressed?

Amy said...

Tell Bob to call me. I think I might be turning into that kind of "you kids better quiet down out there or I'll call the coppers," "honey I can't go anywhere because I might miss something on Facebook" kind of old woman.

Terry said...

Awwwww, Bob....what a guy! Not too old to know when he needs to speak up (or leave a mushy comment).
I just stopped by from another blog....this was sweet, so glad I did!

lisleman said...

what's so bad about an old man as long as he is a happy old man.
New aches and pains do make you feel older. I stopped here from the SS feature of Mrs. 4444.