Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What a Bunch of Psychos

My dad, God rest his soul, use to do one of the strangest things. Whenever I would get upset with him, he would buy me something or give me money. No, seriously. It would drive me crazy. Most of the time, all I really wanted to do was talk out whatever the issue was between us. That drove him crazy. So, with every problem that arose between us, he would try to hand me money or go out and buy me jewelry and I would get even more disgusted. It was a weird arraignment.



Speaking of weird arraignments, I spent the last two weeks with my sisters. To say we had a volatile time together would be putting it mildly. Think of Hawaii. The Big Island. Mount Kilauea. Beautiful to watch from a distance but you definitely do not want to be near the actual center of eruption. So one day, my sisters decide to do an intervention on my behalf. You know, point out all the things that are wrong with me but only because they love me. I would surely hate to see what they would do to me if they hated me. After listening to all their blah blah blahing, I went silent for a few days, for a few reasons. One, I didn’t want to say the things I wanted to say because I was pretty sure it would have meant a one way ticket to hell for me. Not that hell would have felt much different from their interference…I mean, intervention. Two, I did not want to allow them to see me cry. Eventually, they did wear me down and I did cry. Then I cried some more and I could not seem to stop crying. I finally told them I was going to go home early because I missed Bob too much and I was at my legal limit for fun with my sisters. What happened next is simply shocking. Shocking, I tell you!



The next morning, after my announced early departure, I woke up, got dressed and went to my purse for my cell phone. In my purse, was one hundred dollars that had not been there the night before. Not only that, but my sisters informed me they were taking me to Universal Studios since I had not been there in thirty years. I am almost positive if I could have stayed an additional month, I would have left there with a Rolex and a new car. Dad would be proud of those girls. The legacy lives on!



I ran into Norman Bates at Universal. I asked him if he would consider taking two more for $100 cash.


He seriously considered it.




 


26 comments:

Ms. Anthropy said...

Dang, if I got paid every time I had a conflict... I'd be rich!!!

J.J. said...

Every time there's a conflict with my dad (often) he finds an excuse to get off the phone (he won't confront in person) and all is forgotten the next time we talk. It's frustrating because I have all these arguments that never get expressed.

You were at Universal? That's not too far from me.

Brian Miller said...

hehe. i might as well smiles....

Two Shades of Pink said...

Ah yes. The conflict payoff. I know it well.

Coby said...

I've got that uncomfortable, nervous laughter coming from me. What an odd way to deal with conflict! At the same time, I'm thinking your sisters should call my dad and tell him how to handle conflict, then I'll go and do something to make him mad. I need some new clothes.

Growing up in my family, we either avoided conflict altogether, or someone started yelling or crying. It was a bit schizophrenic.

TechnoBabe said...

Talking it out is healthy especially if money is the reward. Hey, how was the day at Universal Studios?

Blasé said...

Are you angry with me? Just asking because if you are I have something I want to give you...

Welcome back, my Farm Girl.

Enchanted Oak said...

Ah, shoot. And this is why we couldn't have coffee? You were busy with the Weird Sisters and Norman Bates?
Dang.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL - I would like to have the conflict payoff cause right now, I'd be filthy rich (compliments of my husband's niece).

haha on Norman Bates!

Monkey Man said...

Norman Bates afraid of your sisters? Now that's scary.

Sarah said...

Who said money can't buy love? I'd stay until I get that Rolex.

Prudence said...

ha! I am just digging my way out of over a year of silence between my sister and I! I wish you weren't feeling the same way!
sisters are wierd

Mommy Lisa said...

Huh. I don't see ANYTHING wrong with you.

Nicole said...

I haven't been there in years! Hope it was fun. AND I'm sure you would've endured even more torture for a trip to Magic Mountain! Glad you are home safe and sound! {{hugs}}

PS - At least your sisters talk to you...my sister goes months before I get a random text from her daughter saying, "Hey Auntie, want to pick me up at the Solana Beach train station tomorrow morning? I want to come spend the weekend with you guys."

Cheeseboy said...

Dang, I only have one sister and I get along with her.

You're right, I did not expect this story to end that way.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You are the best story teller. I love coming here.
Cheers, jj

Anonymous said...

There are always two sides to every story and this is only one biased side.

Marla said...

Coby ~ Uncomfortable, nervous laughter? Then my job here is done!

Techno ~ Universal was awesome. We had the best time. I loved hearing my sisters scream on the rides. Ok, I screamed too.

Nicole ~ It was a blast. We may want to kill each other but we know how to have fun together, that's for sure.

Anonymous ~ How brave of you to leave a comment...anonymously. :-) As for your comment, well duh! Of course this is only my one sided biased view. That's why it's my view. However, all views are welcome.

Anonymous said...

Yeah... I bet the sisters have a very different version of what happened.............

Marla said...

Anon ~ You already know they do. That's why it's their one-sided biased view. We all have them, like it or not. That's what makes life interesting.

MindyBB said...

I am just wondering out loud if you pulled a pill bottle from your purse and said "I do not need an intervention!" Marla, I know God gave me grace when he only allowed me to have brothers... I used to always say God knew my mom and I were enough girls for our family- she has 4 sisters and she is the youngest, at my grandmother's funeral she pulled her only brother aside and said we were mom's favorite and we still have each other! Tehehe...Bless your parents- dads know how to pay up and moms tell us the truth and sisters well you got me there! Love you and when does your "I am a Survivor" Book come out?

Anonymous said...

I count my blessings that I have 9 brothers...1 sister. The brothers give me no grief, the 1 sister is a whole 'nother story.......needless to say, I dont do well with drama, but yours is very entertaining :)

Love you!
Marie

Mama Zen said...

I want some conflict cash!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I like you, and you're a friend of Blase's. Therefore, I will be following along.
Happy weekend!
xoRobyn

Silver Strands said...

Hey Marla, my friend ... I think you're very brave. And I really like your responses to the 1st anonymous commenter. Ugh.

I hooe you've at least had fun spending your hundred bucks ... Don't use it to pay the electric bill! Buy something frivolous. And next time, get angry on the first day so you can escape the drams earlier and enjoy sounding the cash while still on vacation.

Xxoxoox
Denalee

Mrs4444 said...

Too bad your dad's not here to take care of that damned AC unit!