Thursday, July 15, 2010

That’s What She Said

I have just finished spending an entire week with my sisters with one more week ahead of me. One more week of sisterly togetherness.

My little sister Kelly holding court from her throne. That Baileys and coffee will need to be in a much bigger mug if she truly hopes to hide behind it every time she sees me and my camera. I'm just saying....

My sister Char smiling semi-sweetly after telling me
she will kill me if I take one more photo of her in her robe. I took three more.


According to some people:

I am a very unhappy person especially when I don’t get my own way or people disagree with me.

I am a harsh task-master of a mother

I need medication and therapy

I don’t take care of myself

I lie and twist everything to suit myself

I judge people

I am selfish and do not keep my word

My behavior is disturbing

People are afraid of me

According to me:

I am only unhappy when I don’t get my own way or people disagree with me. Now that we have that settled, you may all bow down, do as I say and agree with everything that slips from my lips. I’m so glad that is finally out in the open...peasants.

I am a harsh task-master of a mother therefore I seriously feel it would be in the best interest of my child for someone else to raise her. Free shipping included.

I need medication and therapy… and a gun.

I don’t take care of myself because I am always taking care of everyone else. This makes me a martyr … I mean, a saint. Speak to your local priest, rabbi or snake-handling preacher for further illumination.

I lie and twist everything to suit myself but I don’t realize I am doing it so it isn’t my fault. I also have a very bad memory so I will not remember being told what a twisted liar I am therefore, again, no accountability. It’s a win-win.

I judge people because I can. I’m a saint, remember. Plus, I am better than everyone else (or so I’ve been told) so it’s hard not to judge. It may be why I was put here on earth anyway, so get over it … peasants.

I am selfish and do not keep my word because having seven kids makes you a selfish, twisted liar. Just ask my seven kids.

My behavior is disturbing because I am disturbed. Duh!

People are afraid of me which works well for me since I like feeling I have power and control…peasants!

To all my family and friends back home...

Having a great time. Wish you were here!

*Disclaimer (see twisted liar explanation above)

** Second disclaimer ~ I have been informed by someone that all blog material should be credited to her since she is the one that brutalizes me …I mean, gives me blog fodder. However, she wishes to remain anonymous so ….

Thank you to one of my sisters for all your constant drug-induced attacks on my person. Without you, I would be normal.

Somebody save me!!


Ms. Anthropy said...

I'm on my way... NOT! I have a little sister here and she keeps giving me fits! I CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE SISTERS!

Brian Miller said...

haha. so you are surviving well i see...and hopefull she just give you blog fodder and not that gun...smiles.

Blasé said...

You need two things:



I'll pray for you.

Come back home, I miss you.

J.J. said...

I have 1 sister and she's WAY more than enough! I'll take the 5 brothers ANY way...that should tell you something. ; )

"I judge people because I can."

Ain't it the best!!!

And 7 kids? No wonder my mom is a selfi...oh, hi mom!

J.J. said...

That's 'any DAY', not 'way'.

And what I get for waking up at 6 am. I'm going back to be...zzzzzz!

Monkey Man said...

Ahhhh family. Don't ya just love em.

Nancy C said...

You make me wish I had a sister. Truth. I love all this dishing it out and taking it going on.

Nicole said...

Love it, love it, love it! I can just feel it from here. The snarky comments, the twisty smile Kelly gets when she's talking passionately about something, Char's look of disgust when seeing you with camera in tow. Love it!

I just wish I could be along for the ride. Never one for a shortage of opinions (and I'm ALWAYS right too), I'm sure I could add to the excitement. Next time, bring me instead of your daughter. That way you won't be able to be criticized. About your parenting anyway. :)

Taking the hound dog to the dog park for dog training. Me and all the other manicured southern California women. The only difference is I have a hound dog that drools, and they have lap doggies with outfits to match theirs. Hee hee!

Hugs to all of you!

TechnoBabe said...

You and your sisters have just way too much fun when you are allowed to be together.

gayle said...

I have 2 daughters......sisters:)))

justsomethoughts... said...

you are already saved :)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ha! Funny post. Love your disclaimers ;-)

Keep having fun!


MindyBB said...

Bahaha... Maybe you should bill them for the punitive damages they've caused? Jus sayin! Love you and do hope you are having fun!

MindyBB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicole said...

By the way, was that really a Baileys and Coffee? It's still daylight out!

Enchanted Oak said...

Marla, are you still visiting in CA? When are you going to drive by my house so I can have coffee with your incredibly horrible person? Our morbid obesities can have one of those Starbucks 5,000 calorie fraps. And enjoy it.