Saturday, January 7, 2012

Disgusting, Tasteless & Desperately Sad

No, that is not a description of this blog or of my life, although I can guarantee my sisters would beg to differ. It was actually a statement I heard made regarding casinos. Of course, the moment I heard those words, I thought of my long lost blog and all the crap I had written over a few short years. I decided to go back to the beginning, read through for one last time, then hit delete. The truth is, however, once I read through, laughed and cried, I realized something. I like this freaky blogging chick and always look forward to what she has to say, even when it's pure crap, which is more often than not. I still think she is funny and I wonder where her thought process comes from. It's so different, meaning freaky strange. Apologies to my sisters, children and dead parents, but I simply cannot delete that which reminds me of how amazingly unique, translate weird, the writer of butts and ashes is. So, rock on disgusting, tasteless and desperately sad.

Let's talk disgusting. Wanna know the most disgusting thing I can think of right now? Too bad because I'm going to tell you anyway. AT&T. It doesn't get more revoltingly disgusting than that. After 32 years of total loyalty to a company that could care less, Bob was downsized, outsourced, reorged, blah, blah, blah. Call it like ya played it, you big, godless, spawn of Satan of a corpaoration. When you let 52 managers go, all middle-aged, all within striking distance of retirement, I believe that is not called downsizing, outsourcing, reorging. I am pretty sure it's more along the venacular of age discrimination.

Dear AT&T,

I hate you.

Sincerely,

A middle-aged, fat, white woman who saw her husband cry because of you.

PS....You suck.

Then there's tasteless. I met my sister in Houston a few months back at MDAnderson. The news was not good. Dammit to hell.

"I probably won't even be here next Christmas, Marla."

"Awesome. Can I have Mom's mink coat and her blue chip stamps?"

"Moron."

Yeah, go ahead and cringe while you shake your heads in disgust. I have to be tasteless to avoid crunbling to the ground in a blubbering heap. So go ahead and judge if you must. It won't stop me. Believe me, tougher people than you bunch have tried.

Speaking of desperately sad, thak you Jesus that 2011 is a mere memory. I am not sure I could have taken one more day of it. Seriously, if it had been a leap year, I would have been committed. No, really.

I lost one of my most favorite aunts in the world. She was my last living aunt. My aunt Lillian. She was southern, genteel and made the best tacos in the world. Aunt Lil loved to dance, missed my Uncle Ray every day since his death decades ago and loved her daughters fiercely. She is a major part of my childhood memories and I am sad she is gone. I'll miss that fancy footed redhead every day this side of eternity. I truly will.

Soon after, we received the news that our dear friend, Dick van der Woerd had died. I still don't want to believe it. Dick was a giant of a man and not just in stature. He was a Christian pastor unlike any other I have ever met. He loved everyone, refused to judge anyone and lived every day in a way that made a difference. I know he made a difference in my life. I love him. I always will. I know I will see him again and I look forward to that day. Until then, I will think of him and smile. I hope people will be able to say the same of me when I'm gone. Is there a better tribute than that?

Just a few weeks later, I got the call I dreaded for months. One of my oldest and dearest friends, Lori Parsons, lost her husband Mike. We knew it was coming but that makes the sting no less painful. I continue to cry for and dream about Lori on a regular basis. Thinking about the day Lori called to tell me the news, I have to smile. Of course, my first response when I heard her voice was to blubber like a baby Beluga. But then, in that strangely wonderful way that has always defined our relationship, we began reminiscing and ended up laughing uncontrollably. Any sane person listening in would have been disgusted at the tastlessness of our remarks and remembrances. We were healed if but for just that moment. So I smile.

Anyway, like I said, good riddance 2011. One last thought, if any of you gets the bright idea to die this year, do not call me, because I will never speak to you again. I mean it.

18 comments:

Brian Miller said...

i am so glad 2011 is over...sounds like you had reason as well...and i am glad that we did not lose butts and ashes to the delete file cause i think she is pretty cool too...

sorry to bob too...that sucks big time...i have been 'right' sized before...

Ms. A said...

It's been a really tough year for you, Marla. I admire your sense of humor and my opinion is, whatever it takes, friend. If it gets you through the sadness and loss, it has to be a huge bonus. You're like a Timex... you take a lickin' and keep on tickin'!

I'm just so darn glad to see you, woman!

Parsley said...

Oh man...that really stinks about the job and it's really sad about sis. HUGS

Mrs. W. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandra said...

Been through that job crap. It stinks and I am so sorry.
Love your "blubber like a baby Beluga" phrase. Been doing that a lot today. I know Miss Daisy would have loved her funeral today but I KNOW she would've wanted somebody to tell a joke or at least sing "When The Role Is Called Up Yonder" or "When The Saints Come Marching In" with a horn...instead of the saddest songs in the world for one of the funnest, laughing ladies I ever knew. God did not say we had to be so dang serious...think I'll write about this...I seem to be on a roll! So glad you're back. If you EVER get the delete itch again, at least make a "blog to book" for yourself. You know you would treasure it when you're in the 'nursin' home', as we say down here in the South. Glad you're back honey. Sandra

Mrs. Tuna said...

WE'VE MISSED YOU!!!!

I'm sorry about your husband's job loss, I too got downsized in September by Giant Engineering, F*ckers.

Keep writing, your humor, warped as it may be, it is always welcome.

Dawn

okiegirl1961 said...

AT&T treated my Dad Ted like $h^t too I hate them the ba46urd4s. Marla sometimes all Ican do is listen to Ellis Paul sing GOds Promises and remember he gives us strength for the day and thats the only way we can live it. Im sending you my red headed belly laughin bawdy joke tellin non filtered conversation wierd sense of humour love vibes *SMOOOOOCH*

Cher said...

Ok cuz. Did a little birdie whisper in my ear that you wrote a blog today? It is time for a Central Coast Visit. Come stay with me for your Birthday and we can celebrate. Hey weren't we supposed to take a rain check on our 50th because we were consumed with wiping our dads booties. Hummmm where to girlie! Hugs and Love

Glen said...

Well I quite like the author of ths blog too.

You have had a really rough year and more pain to come it seems.

But you are strong and you have people arround you, at home, who love you. Lean on these people for support - they'll be ready to give it, I bet.

Happy New Year.

So. Cal. Gal said...

2011 sucked, 2010 sucked, Fall/Winter of 2009 sucked. Hopefully 2012 ROCKS! We all need and deserve it.

(((BIG FAT HUGS)))

Andrea said...

Marla,
Disgusting, tasteless & desperately sad - like every one of us at times. You're just honest enough to fess up to it, unlike a lot of us who hide behind our "why, things are going swimmingly darling" facade.

You're also loving, giving & amazingly resilient. Yes you are, don't argue with me. Facts & people will back me up.

So glad you're back - love you cousin. :-) Hugs to you & Bob.

Love, Andrea

Not So Simply Single said...

Glad you are back!

Missed ya!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

so glad you are back. i've really missed you. thought about you. prayed for you. thought about you some more.

2011 sucked. i'm so glad it's over. i pray 2012 is better for us all. right now, it's not starting off too great. totally ticking me off.

Nicole said...

I've missed you Marla. xoxo

Enchanted Oak said...

There are good years, bad years, just fine years, and years from hell. (Mine was March 2010-March 2011.) They leave you wounded in the dust. Hugs to you, prayers for your family.

Coby said...

I've missed you, and I'm sorry...about it ALL! You. Are. A. Trooper. I love the humor you use to deal with things, and I'm so glad to see you!

JD said...

I just happened across this. Have to say I'm one of the AT&T 30+ yr, "outsourced" employees. They disgust me! It's gotta get better!!

Tammigirl said...

I've had a year like 2011. It was ugly.

Luckily, we're tough old broads.

Oh - don't ever, ever, ever delete this blog, you goober!