Monday, May 16, 2011

See Ya Later, Alligator

Well, like I said yesterday, here I am in Houston with my sister Kelly and her husband David. Today was the usual: blood specimens, MRI and CT scans and lots of paperwork. Oh sure, there were the typical moments of ridiculousness like when they attempted to coerce her into the rectal CT again. She wasn’t going for it this time either. Party pooper. As for running her into the elevator wall, well, it wasn’t totally my fault. The man that held the door open for me smelled really good and I lost my sense of direction for a moment. Old men that smell good remind me of my dad and then I get all melancholy and forget things like stopping before I walk Kelly and her wheelchair into the elevator wall. As for the laughing, I could have stopped if Kel would have stopped telling me to stop. Telling me to stop laughing only makes me laugh more. It’s a common physics fact, or something. Besides, it’s not like she got hurt and even if she had, we’re in a hospital. What better place to get hurt? Duh!



Just another little pet name my sister has for me?



Anyway, that’s not what I want to write about tonight. No, I have something much more riveting to tell you. I have discovered one of the most amazing, incredible, fascinating studies of humanity ever known to man. No really, stay with me, you won’t regret it. Ok, you probably will but stay with me anyway.






Not having cable TV at home, I find myself flicking through all the channels every time I am here at the Rotary House. They have a bazillion channels full of foolishness. It can be quite entertaining. So last night as I was flicking away, I came across this show.






If you have never seen Swamp People, you don’t know what you’re missing. This show is brilliant. I mean, seriously, any show that has to use English sub-titles when the people being filmed are English speaking so to speak, well, that is my kind of entertainment.

Now, before you PETA family members of mine go psycho on me for watching this show, I will admit the shooting of the gators made me sad. Especially when they show the little gator paw slowly dropping down into the boat as the pre-historic beast gives up the ghost. Poor humongous, slimy creature that would eat my face off in a nano second if given the chance. All you wanted to do was munch a stray dog or two, attack an unsuspecting Cajun fishing on the bank now and then and maybe grab a bunny snack once in awhile. And for this, they shoot you. Well that and the big bucks the ladies will pay for a purse made out of your hide.






Rest in peace, monster gator. Not one inch of you will go to waste. As for tasting like chicken, I’ll just have to take the Swamp People’s word for it.



16 comments:

Ms. A said...

I'd have nightmares!!! I wouldn't remember them, but you can bet I'd have them.

Glen Staples said...

Swamp people - does exactly what it says on the can

Nancy C said...

Ah, Marla! How I enjoy you and your take on things.

We don't have cable either. So when we are around it? We watch exactly what you do---pure nonsense!

Brian Miller said...

you are the second person to highlight this show this week...i really must see when it comes on

Katharine said...

Oh how I have missed visiting your corner of the world...better than TV!(although I've never seen swamp people)

Oklahoma Granny said...

Interestingly enough, this past weekend my husband and I were in OKC and ate dinner at a fish place. We had an appetizer of 'gator - a bit grilled served over rice and a few pieces of fried gator. It was pretty tasty. My husband preferred the grilled over rice. Of course I preferred the fried. LOL

PS. I've never watched Swamp People.

Libbie said...

I totally have watched it!!!! So funny isn't it!

It is funny how smells can take us somewhere else isn't it? & it took Kelly to the elevator wall :)

Mrs. Tuna said...

I hate reptiles, I think I'll pass.

Monkey Man said...

From sister in the hospital to old man cologne to gators??? What did you eat that night?

So. Cal. Gal said...

Running into walls is the very reason I hate people pushing me. At least if I push myself, my chances of injury are lessened.

My dad smelled of Old Spit (Spice for the uninformed) when I was a kid, so I'd probably gag if some old man was wearing it today.

And Swamp People sounds like a blockbuster movie title. Wait, isn't it?

okiegirl1961 said...

Marla you can come to my house and watch cable TV we have 9million zillion channels and I hardly watch TV but it keeps Conor and Larry out of the bars. Well since Conor is only 11 it keeps Larry out sometimes.

As for your sister? i think when you are sisters you get to do stuff to each other because you have to forgive each other because you are stuck for life. So if me or Jana are ever in a wheel chair Im going to insist on a ride or two down the driveway and race to see if we can get through the lelavator doors fast enough. Love your stuff. love you. lets have girl night at my house. Ill send the boys to jana and we can all hang out and watch crazy ass wierdo reality shows all night and drink Fresca.
MUAH

okiegirl1961 said...

I meant "to Janas" and then she will be with us. Have to be expicit or she will be like Uh, EXCOOOOOSE ME? MARLA IS MY FRIEND YOU KNOW! WHY DO I GET STUCK WITH SMELLY BOYS AND YOU GET MARLA TV AND FRESCA?

Joanna Jenkins said...

I yiyi, Swamp People!!??!! That's really a show-- Wow.

A rectal CT-- YOu crack me up... no pun intended.

Cheers, jj

Enchanted Oak said...

Trashy taste in TV, girlfriend. But if I were sitting around with a remote in my hand and came across that show, I would definitely watch, for the subtitles alone.
Don't forget to breathe, Marla.

Sarah said...

Seriously, the seemingly naked body under the overall just made me very happy I don't have cable TV.

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