The Envelope Please....

I haven’t posted in over a week. Some of you noticed, some of you didn’t and some, like my sisters, held a celebration thinking they had been liberated. Like that will ever happen! Anyway, the truth is, I have been writing every day, just not on my blog. I have a work in progress. I don’t talk about it much because I am a coward and cannot face the fear of failure or rejection. I must be loved at all costs. We are talking the need for serious therapy here, folks. Anyway, aside from a few days of an aching back from all my foolishness at the wedding, I have been writing. And no, you may not read it.

One of the other things I have been putting off for months now is posting the awards people have bestowed upon me. Along with my insatiable need to be loved, adored and admired is my total and complete embarrassment when someone says something nice to me. Like I have always said…I. Need. Therapy.

Anyway, I am finally posting some of the awards. Here. Now. If for no other reason, read on to see what amazing people I have been able to fool. No, seriously. The people that have graciously given these awards to me are some of the most inspiring, incredible human beings I have ever met… on the internet. I understand, in reality, they are probably all sixty-three year old felons, sitting at their stolen computers in their dingy little apartments, pretending to be who I think they are. But please….don’t burst my bubble.

So, without further ado….the envelope please!

Katherine Jenkins is married to a monk. No, seriously! The woman is amazing and deep and always has something to say that makes me think. I love her and her blog, Lessons From The Monk I Married. Katherine gave me this award back during the ice age and I am finally accepting it, with humble heart. Thanks, Katherine!

So, now I am meant to write 10 things that make me happy. I am going to be completely honest with my answers, so ….deal with it.

1. The smell of a horse…and the smell of horse poop. Bottle the stuff and I will wear it.

2. Writing …other than checks for bills.

3. Making people laugh, especially my sisters because they are usually such sour, old women. Any small hint of joy I can bring into their lives makes my life worth living.

4. My children…when their children drive them crazy. Being a grandma is God’s sweet revenge. Thank you, God!

5. Bob, my husband, my best friend, my luvah! Am I talking about four different people? Don’t be silly. One man’s enough to train. Just kidding, baby! wink wink

6. People. I love people. I love feeding them and talking to them and having lots of them in my house. Especially if they are over thirty. And don’t want to borrow money.

7. Reading. I. Love. To. Read. I read every day. I cannot read enough. You’d think with all the reading I do I would be smarter by now. Such is life.

8. Gathering eggs from the henhouse…with a rake in one hand….to bat the rooster across the pen with when he attacks. I swear I can hear him say, “My name is Freckles the Rooster. You stole my babies. Prepare to die.” With a Spanish accent, of course. (Name that movie, Marie!)

9. Random dancing. I break out into random dancing at the most, well, random times. My Aunt Zora use to do it and we all said she was crazy. I get it now. Thanks, Aunt Zora!

10. Kissing. I love kissing. I kiss my kids. I kiss my grandkids. I kiss every single critter on the farm. Except Freckles. He’ll peck my eyes out. I also kiss Bob, but usually just to gross my kids out. Works every time.

I now bestow this prestigious award onto 10 bloggers that make me happy.

Sarah @ The Good Girls

Denalee @ Silver Strands

Kfred @ Flatline Thinking

Pearl @ Pearl, Why You Little...

Mama Zen @ The Zen of Motherhood

Pricilla @ The Maaaa of Pricilla

Chris @ Enchanted Oak

Brian @ WayStationOne

Coby @ Finding Joy

Nancy @ Away We Go

I can hear them cursing me now. You're welcome...even if you are a bunch of criminals.

An Oklahoma Granny is all about being an Oklahoman, to me anyway. She loves her farm, her family and Nascar. Seriously, Granny? Nascar? Anyway, she is sweet and kind and normal. I have no idea why she likes me. But she must because she gave me this award.

So, the blogger that makes me pucker like a big old glass of sour lemonade is Blasé at My Game It's Your Move.  Blasé is the train wreck I just can’t seem to look away from. He makes me laugh… disgusted… and pray. Often, all in the same post. I do love ya, Blasé and I am praying for you. You seriously need Jesus… and therapy!

The next award is not an award but rather a Tag which I believe is more of a slap upside the head. Anyway, it comes from UberGrumpy. He says he is from across the pond, however, I look out across our pond every day and have yet to see him. Regardless, I need to answer his ten questions and then pass this on. Being a former, obedient, Catholic schoolgirl, I will comply…this time.

1. What is your current obsession? Asparagus

2. What do you think about the person who tagged you? Reading his blog makes me crave warm beer and Curly-Wurlies.

3. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Switzerland. Would I have to tell the kids I moved?

4. What's your favorite quote? “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” Mark Twain

5. Who do you want to meet right now? A life coach.

6. What's your favorite magazine? Woman’s Day. I subscribed because I thought it was going to be about women finally getting their day. It’s about cooking and cleaning.

7. What do your friends call you most commonly? "You remember Marla, right? The crazy one?"

8. Would you prefer coffee or tea? Coffee…served in bed…in my favorite cup…with just the right amount of girly cream added. I’m not picky.

9. What makes you go wild? Monkeys. And The Monkees. I love you, Davey Jones! Call me.

10. Who's your favorite deep sea diver? Diver Dan, the 1960’s cartoon. I watched him every day. Because of Diver Dan, I fear barracuda to this day.

Now, because I am so bad at awards and Tom is just plain bad, I respectfully pass this Tag on to him at Sophisticated Lunacy. Be careful, though. He is quite deep in the way of many a lunatic.

That brings me to this award given to me by Mommy Lisa. She said she loved this post I wrote . It was about wanting to kill my friend's husband if I recall. Anyway, for some reason it made her give me this award. She must need therapy too. No matter. Thanks again, Lisa, for encouraging my bad behavior with this award.

I don’t think this next one is an actual award, either. I think it is more like being hit with a water balloon. Anyway, my sweet, little Italian bloggy friend Lorenza, @ Pure Energy, hurled it at me. I am suppose to tell you where I will be in 10 years. Because I love Lorenza, I will tell.

Dear Bloggers,

Ten years from now I believe I will be in the poor house, jail or a convent. It’s hard to decide which way to go.

Love,

Marla

I now tag Deborah @ Fashion Plate. You have officially been hurled on, Deb.

Ok, believe it or not, there are more but I need to get dressed and act like I have a life. So until next time…..thank you to all convicted felons! I appreciate your appreciation.