Everything Old Is New Again

I'm so happy right now. We just made it home from spending the evening with my friend Terri and her family. I love these people and have for decades. We are absolutely old friends in every sense of the word old. ha!

Terri's youngest son and his growing family live in Jacksonville Beach so we met at their home first for a drink and some great conversation. We shared some old photos and shed a few tears. We also shared some old stories and jokes and lots and lots of laughter. It was absolutely medicine for the soul to be with them all again after so long.

I love these folks so much. 

Brandis, Chandler, Tristan, Terri, Bob, Me, Justin and Jessica, 

outside of the Dockside Seafood Restaurant. 

The last time I saw Brandis and Justin, Terri's two youngest children, they were tiny little munchkins. To see them all grown up, with children of their own, was amazing. Although, Terri agreed with me about still seeing our kids as babies. I love these kids. I always have. Seeing them again was wonderful because when you find your people, you just know, and no matter how much time passes since you were last together, it's like no time has passed once you reconnect. This was our first time meeting Jessica and we love her. She and Justin are going to be wonderful parents this fall. I'm so excited for them and really looking forward to holding their new baby. Is there anything better than that new baby smell? 

Terri and I sat together at dinner so we could catch up. She remarried two years ago and we haven't met her husband yet so I was happy to hear all about him and his family. We promised to go visit them in Nashville soon so we can spend time together and get to know Brent. That is a promise we will absolutely be keeping in the near future.

As we drove home tonight, I found myself going over the evening in my head. There was, and always will be, so much history between us. Terri and I talked and laughed and cried about so many things that only we understand because only we shared that part of our lives. Wonderful times of supporting and loving one another as young mothers and wives which helped shape us into the women we are today. I am so grateful for that history with my friend and I will always cherish what we shared. 

But it occured to me this evening, that even though we are the same as we always were in some ways, we've also changed in other ways. Life has changed us both. It does that to people. Those changes have given us the chance to build a new relationship on the foundation that's already there. This is really exciting to me. Terri is still the same person but there are so many new and exciting pieces of her life I want to know. It's like meeting again for the first time only this time, we know how the story goes. 

Just like the saying, we'll be friends til we're old and senile, then we'll be new friends. 

My Friend, Terri

About a million years ago, when I was a young mother with two little boys, I met the most wonderful friend. She was exactly who I needed especially at that moment in time. Her name is Terri.

Tim and Terri Hearon showed up at the small church we attended in Cayucos sometime in the early 1980's, I think. They had three kids, Aimee, Brandis and Dallas, who were around the same age as our boys. Three things immediately stood out to me about Tim and Terri; they were a really beautiful couple, they were both outgoing, funny and friendly, and I knew these were our people. Seriously, from day one, we were friends. By the time church was over, we knew they were new in town so we invited them over for lunch. That lunch lasted so long it turned into dinner. For the few short years they lived near us, I think Terri and I saw each other almost every day and our families were together just about every weekend. We camped, we had double-dates, we watched each others kids so we could have alone time vacations. It was truly some of my happiest times with our little families together.

One of my favorite memories with Terri was grocery shopping. Sounds crazy but it's true. We had five small children between us and we were both barely into our twenties. Money was tight with us having just bought our first home and Bob being the sole income. It was pretty much the same for Tim and Terri. So, Terri and I started making weekly menus together and grocery lists. Then we would head out together with all the kids in tow and our calculators. We'd go through the entire store, side-by-side, helping each other with kids and potty breaks, or grocery decisions. And the coupons! We used coupons like the bosses we were. It was so much fun to accomplish this task every week as a team. I went from hating to go to the store to looking forward to it.

 

This is me with the five kids after one of our grocery trips. We haven't even unloaded everything and already, everyone was starving. I loved my tiny kitchen full of little faces. 

From the left: Brandis, Dallas, Aimee, Matthew and John.

Tim, Terri and the kids eventually moved farther away but would come back to stay with us for a week. One of the most important weeks they ever spent with us was Thanksgiving week of 1989. It was just a few weeks after bringing our girls, Rachel and Belen home. Nothing would have been more perfect than having Tim and Terri that week. They helped everyone settle in and settle down. Bob and I and the boys were happy and excited to finally have the girls home but I think we probably overwhelmed Rae and Bel with our enthusiasm. The Hearon family was just the right buffer to bring everything to a fun yet peaceful stride that week. I'll always be grateful for them showing up for us like they always did.

We all lived in California during this time and even though they had moved far from us, we liked that they were still in the state. One day I got the call I dreaded. They had been talking about moving somewhere else and had decided to head to Florida. I tried really hard to sound excited and happy but when we hung up, I cried like a baby. Truthfully, every time they moved a little further from us, I had cried. I missed Terri in my daily life. Florida seemed like the moon. 

Over the years, we stayed in touch, with them moving up to Georgia later and us moving to Oklahoma. The years kept passing and we kept talking about seeing one another but it never happened. Tim and Terri now had four kids and we had seven. Life took over and time got away from us. Then Terri called one afternoon to tell us Tim had been killed in an accident. It was devastating news to hear.

Years later, Terri made it out to Oklahoma and we had a wonderful time having dinner and catching up. It felt like no time had passed as we laughed and cried together once more. Terri is remarried now and living in Tennessee and we now live in Florida. As fate would have it, her youngest son also lives in Florida and Terri is coming for a visit in a few days. I don't think I could be much happier right now thinking about seeing my friend again. I'm already working on my grocery list. Maybe we'll go shopping.

Pushing My Buttons

When I first started this blog adventure, I noticed something interesting. Lots of blogs have these things called buttons. Each button is unique to that blog, hopefully making some type of positive statement about it's content. The goal, I suppose, is to get the reader to see the button, grab the code and place it on their own blog. Free advertising. Of course, this only works if you love the blog, think the button is worth grabbing and you're smart enough to cut and paste the code. I usually don't grab buttons because I frequently struggle with that cut and paste smart part.

Anyway, last January my buddy Jessica over at Two Shades of Pink wrote to me suggesting I needed a button. Jess, being the brainiac she is, offered to make the button for Butts and Ashes. What could I say but, yes please and thank you!


Then I got this.......

Now, I am not a completely ungrateful oaf but let's be real. This button is sweet. And pretty. And girlie. And normal. Who in their right mind is going to believe for a nano-second that this button accurately and sincerely represents Butts and Ashes? I'd be sued for libel, for sure, if I enticed unsuspecting masses to visit Butts and Ashes with that button. The poor slobs would read the first three sentences of a post and demand a refund.

Anyway, I had to gently inform Jess that although the button was so sweet it made my teeth hurt and I totally appreciated all her hard work, I didn't think I could use it and still look myself in the mirror. I mean, I do have some integrity. Some.

That's when Jess tried a few more before finally settling on this one.....

Isn't it awesome? Isn't it so me? Vintage, black and white with just a hint of color where you least expect it. And the font? Perfect! No curly cues or girlie swirlies just plain and to the point. I love it! And so, a year later, I have added this little piece of perfection to the blog. Grab it if you like.

One last confession. My new button, although awesome in every way, was not my first choice. Jess, thinking herself a comedian for the moment, sent me a button hoping to shock and surprise my unsuspecting self. Obviously, the girl forgot who she was dealing with. I still say this should have been my blog button. Jess still says something about R ratings, children and common decency.

My first choice?

Wait for it.....

Wait for it......

Wait for it.......



Butts and Ashes. The Woman. The Myth. The Legend.

One last thing. I just heard Jess broke her arm. Please take a minute to stop by her blog, type a well wish or two and let her know you saw the evidence of the day she lost her mind last year. It'll drive her insane. Again.  bwahahahahahahaha