I May Need An Attorney

I called my sister Kelly tonight. I have called her every night since I got home from abandoning her at MD Anderson. It isn’t like I left her there completely alone. Our older sister, Charlene, is there with Kelly. Of course, Kelly says Char is only good for hair and make up. I'm not sure but I think Char may be falling down on the job.

Anyway, Kelly sounds absolutely wonderful. Her pain is more manageable and she is working hard on her physical therapy. I am really proud of her and I sincerely mean that. If I had to face a drop of what she has gone through the last three years, well, I would have been balled up in the fetal position in a corner years ago. No, seriously. My sister is by far one of the bravest people I know. And I am not just saying that. I truly mean it. I only post embarrassing pictures of her because she normally looks like this.

I am just jealous of her. That’s what she says anyway. I admit, Kelly is a very pretty woman. She has always had a great figure, pretty face and a brilliant personality. Seriously. That is probably part of what always got her into trouble. Not that I am going to tell you about any of her “problems”. That would be wrong. Besides, I don’t think she meant to attract wealthy, old men. Sometimes, things just happen.

And the whole sailor thing. It was a phase, people. A passing phase. She was like a room mother to those boys when the ship docked.

Most of the time, Kelly was in her backyard hula hooping, minding her own business.

Except for when those parties would somehow erupt in her backyard and more old men would show up. She was like a light attracting moths. Smelly, wrinkled, old moths. It was amazing. But I can’t tell you about any of it. That would be wrong.

Anyway, she is married now and settled down. Kelly is ready to get out of that hospital so she can get back to work…and drinking Baileys. Not that she has a drinking problem. I would never suggest that. And when she finally catches up with this blog and shows this picture of me at trial, I will simply plead insanity.

Besides, it was Kelly herself who suggested I write about her. I am only following orders. I'm obedient like that. Anyway, I am going to finish packing now since we leave for the airport in about twelve hours. Yep, tomorrow we are on our way to California for our youngest son's wedding. Truth be told, I am downright sad that Kelly won't be there. I know she is pretty sad about it too. I told her not to worry, that I had found a dress and she would be proud of me when she saw the pictures. I promised her it wouldn't be any worse than when we were in Char's wedding.